Children's tantrums - it is always unpleasant. Especially if they happen on the street, under the judgmental glances of passers-by. At such moments, the whole world seemed to accuse you that you - a bad mother. Throw away these thoughts, and do not rush to conclusions. As an adult to behave during children's tantrums, and how to stop a tantrum child psychologist will tell
First of all, we should not think about the opinion of strangers who just a second pass on and forget about us all, as we are about them. And it is not about his irritation and fatigue, and the child, who at this moment is bad. Do not think that he is doing everything out of spite, because he has not the least, if not more, than you.
We must remember that hysteria never occur in a vacuum. Even if it seems that there is no reason for it, it is not. Most likely, we just missed the reason for its occurrence, and could not suppress the conflict with the child in the bud.
The causes of bad behavior can be very different. Maybe the kid just can not find another way to get our attention. Or he is irritated, hurt and simply can not cope with with emotion. And because pours them in protest and shout
Remember one thing: that parents need to hear and understand the kid in those moments, and not he them. But, alas, the strength is not for everyone. Every day we get tired at work, and are often unable to adequately respond to the violent manifestations of children's character.
What to do just not worth it - so it's to scream back, dragging children by the hand and punish. Not to aggravate the situation, splashing in the baby his aggression, so you will not help the cause.
But perhaps there is some effective way by which you can quickly stop crying and screaming? Yes, fortunately it exists. Psychologists say that to reduce the hysteria and even completely stop it is a simple question. It sounds like this: "Tell me, is a big problem, the average problem or a little problem?"
According to experts, this method is perfectly valid to children aged 4-5 years. During this period, parents should not just shout at your child and command, and learn to understand and respect their interests. But above all, we must bring up his child, his feelings and emotions are very important to us.
So, in the case of prolonged tantrums we just sit next to the child on his heels (as we are with him on the same level). Then calmly looking him in the eye and ask, how serious is his problem - large, medium or small. And ask: "Tell me, please, your problem is big, medium or small?"
Psychologists say that even the most spoiled child in these moments stop and seriously think about his answer. Next stands quietly wait for his remarks and act according to circumstances. And even if it seems to you a problem silly and frivolous. This is important for your child, so you should show patience and a modicum of respect.
Remember that small problems are always quite easy to solve. Average require more time. But if the trouble that befell your child, in his opinion, most need to be patient and explain to him the words available, what are the solutions to this problem.
To take one example: the child is asked to draw a little mother at bedtime. Mom realizes that it is too late, but agrees to (well, my fault). But here's the problem - lost favorite pen with a unicorn. After a joint 10-minute search for the child does not calm down, and that is quite natural, fall into hysterics.
Quietly. We do not shout and do not persuade. We sit side by side, it is best to embrace, but only if the daughter allows, rather than brushes. We look in the eye and ask, "Say, this problem is big, medium or small?"
There is an important "but". Be prepared for the fact that the loss of favorite pens at 11 pm, when all the obedient children are asleep, can be a very, very big problem. We do not panic and start to quietly ask:
- "Watch where you could escape a pen? She could vanish from the apartment? "
A child can be assumed that she could.
- "Why? To us someone came to the house and we went out? Rubbish too, no one threw. So, handle the exact house. And it is there! "
The problem of big kid turned to high. In the meantime, my daughter thinks of your words, quick to offer further developments.
- "It is already very late, so we go to sleep. Look, I can look for your pen itself, while you're in kindergarten. Or do we look for it together when you get back home in the evening. "
You'd be surprised, but then my daughter smile, kiss you, and quietly go to sleep.
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