Everyone will agree that raising your toddler have heard, they say, the child has to sleep so many hours; waking up in so much; eat porridge should be exactly this; the child should properly behave in a public place; child must, must, must... Etc.
The list goes on and on. Each of us will find a lot of examples that we give all of our compassionate surroundings.
Let us in this article look at a few myths.
Myth №1. Children should be brought up
This myth is so well-established that people do not even think about it the wrong component. But the exposure of this particular myth helps children gain a normal childhood, and parents - quiet upbringing of his child. By education most often refers to "speak as well have to do", "learning to live", "to instill rules and normal "," to explain what is good and what is bad, "" teach to obey "," punish disobedience "," control and to evaluate. "
Almost all are convinced that without such education, the child will not grow a "good person." In addition, grandparents raised us the same way and nothing grew we good people! Just do not know can not be just a good man grew up without such education, but something better!
I just remember the events of my life. When I gave birth to my daughter all around began to advise exactly how to take care of it, and how to educate. "Swaddle it is necessary! You will not swaddle - legs girls curves will be! (Familiar?) "Do not swaddled. I grew up a girl-beautiful, with elegant straight legs! "To feed it is necessary only every four hours!" It has been proven that breast milk is digested very well the newborn. And this gap in the feeding is not necessary to observe. I wanted the baby to eat - give him this opportunity. "When a child is crying, take him in his arms once impossible - razbaluesh!" And so on.
And only when the child has grown up, too, there is a bunch of instructions and recommendations for the further education of your child. Just wanted to say old saying: "Do not teach me how to live, help financially!"
If you want to have up a happy child, full multiple personality, enough to love him without prohibitions, show genuine interest in his achievements and problems, by their example to show exactly how to act in certain situations.
Because if you are telling the child that it is necessary to respect their elders, be rude to his mother, then you are unlikely to respect "will plant". Or shouting and swearing at her child, tell him that you have to be polite to others, of course, do not expect that your son will follow your instructions. Serve the example of a child by his actions. Build it your life to be happy. And your baby will take it as an example.
Myth №2. Children - a small version of an adult
In fact, this proposition is fundamentally not true. We often think that if a child is able to do something that can mature, which means that it can be compared to an adult. Children - children! They are just beginning to develop, learn all over gradually feel their emotions. Their perception of the world is built a little differently and we must accept it. As a child, the child has very different priorities.
The kid does not know who he was and why he was here, in this world. He can not always tell you what he wants and knows. The concept of "now" for it is very important, because the future for it is almost nonexistent.
School - it "when I grow up." The institute - "I'll be the old" after graduation - "many do not live." Therefore naive parent argument "in the future, it is useful to you" - does not work, the future does not exist. The child simply enjoys every moment of their life, appreciate it and enjoy it. What, unfortunately, can not do even a very intelligent adults.
Therefore, a child - it's not a small version of the adult. They are completely different. Allow the child to enjoy fully their childhood.
Myth №3. Children need to constantly monitor
When we begin to gradually produce in the world of the child, constantly trying to "run off" his tracks. We worry excessively about him. "What if he falls down the stairs!" Or "He is now just confused in the pants! I'd rather she will wear them to him. " Too familiar?
Ability to develop genetically built into us. Otherwise we would not have survived as a species. Its excessive concern for parents create a lack of independence, lack of initiative person who has no idea of the little man, what to do in different situations.
Any person developed sense of self-preservation, therefore, enough to tell children about the rules of safety, so that they began to use this knowledge. In addition, our constant concern disaccustoms timid child's ability to adapt to difficult situations and find a way out of them. For example, if your child wants to take someone's toy in the sandbox, explain that it is necessary to ask for permission from the master toy and then take it. Do not do it yourself. Let the child will do himself what he wants.
Myth №4. Children need to develop in early childhood
It is because of this myth for many children had no childhood! Instead of enjoying the quivering joint moments, now almost every mother tries hard to "build" their baby.
Observed once the situation: young mothers gathered for a walk with the kids (just crumbs, up to six months). And then one of them proudly gets out of the bag some cards of its own production. And he starts to inspire his "colleagues in the shop", as it is important to teach your baby a different language from the cradle! Shows these cards to your child, says the names of animals in a different language. She is very happy - all admired her intelligence and progressiveness, other moms, too happy - found something to take her child and keep up with the progressive, and the baby cries - he really wants to sleep, rather than watch over a bunch of hooting inappropriate persons. Question: Who did well, child or mother?
For each activity (game, learning, communication) in psychology there is a most appropriate age at which children They come themselves to the needs for new knowledge or the development of certain skills and they do it a lot easier and it's better.
It just so happened that we all believe in the importance of early development. And with "youthful nails" do our best to load the child in various occupations. As a result, when it is necessary to develop it, we develop a way of thinking and so on. Any stage of development should take place on time, do not rush the child. If he wants to crawl - it free space for maneuvers. He wants to bite - provide a variety of hardness and texture of objects. So, too, the child learns. In other words, your job is when the child shows to something of interest, create an opportunity for him to meet.
From my life. I have many fond childhood. My mother never insisted on learning something specific. When I was 5 years beginning delineate the wallpaper in the apartment, she led me into the art room. Interested in embroidery - I bought needles and thread, isolated patches. I wanted to learn how to climb trees - my mother, standing under a tree and holding his heart, which prompted on what branch, put the leg.
If the child is to provide opportunities for the satisfaction of his natural zest for life and the environment, it will begin to develop well on embedded in the very nature of its program. When the time comes, he will want and begin to learn to read, to draw, to decide.
Myth №5. Children can not scream and punish
This myth is attributed to the fact that the child is very fragile psyche and it is a negative impact.
Naturally, you can not expose your child to a constant negative pressure: permanent odergivaniya baby cries and scandals in the house - it's bad. But one can not always protect the child from all negative. It is important to show him at least a part of it. Anger - so the child will understand that there is something "not so." Sadness and hurt - my mother gone, and it's really sad. Show that such patients (eg, physically) to kid myself trying not to hurt friends.
That's right, when you teach your child to express emotions and to perceive. As a child, with the support of loving parents relive their will be easier, and treatment experience with these is not always pleasant emotions and will help the child to deal with them in the future.
Myth №6. Children must obey their parents
Agree, we do not owe anything to anyone! So on what basis the child to someone that's got? Why?!
Instead of suppressing the desire of their children, or vice versa to buy their obedience, should be made so that children formed a respect for you and understand that we need to listen to your opinion (but not perform neprekoslovno). This can be achieved only by respecting and supporting themselves as individuals.
Myth №7. Harmful child to do what he wants
Many of us were born and raised in the Soviet period, when the individual desires of man did not pay attention. Previously, the team was important, and everything connected with it. We all had to live for the good of the country and if suddenly someone began to stand out from the gray society, it could end badly. In the life of the Soviet man is constantly attended by the word "must". And now, many parents say that if a child will do what he wants, it will not do what you need!
The more we give the child to do what he wants, not what you need, the more confident in their abilities and desires of the man he grew up. Because a man who lives under the motto "right", feels depressed, exhausted. He can not and will not enjoy life.
Myth №8. bad parents
Remember one important thing: what would you do with a child does not have conflicts and differences, he loves you anyway. Just because you're his parents. No need to "placate" baby gifts, in the hope that he will love you more.
Never doubt in their children, they may surprise you by how much they are observant and wise. They, like every other person, too, want to feel safe, to be loved, to be recognized and to become what only they can become.
Children come into this world, not in order to conform with our expectations and embody our desires, and in order to realize his. All they want to make their own mistakes, and live my life. Give them an opportunity!
