She's burned herself on this many times. I myself can have 3-4 thousand in my wallet, but some acquaintances will ask for a loan, and I feel so sorry for them. One friend so borrowed from me for several years, she really gave it away, but still. And another friend thought that he was not obliged to return anything to me. And then I realized that I was being used, and it was time to somehow learn how to refuse people when they ask for a loan.
I understand that every person in life sometimes has such a situation that you have to ask for a loan. But, if you do not have the opportunity to help, it's time to also learn how to respond to the request in the negative.
I offer several options
Principle
You once firmly decided for yourself that you would never lend money to anyone. So stand your ground and tell everyone you know about it.
"I don't have myself"
As an option, you can also pretend to be poor, unfortunate. Well, or: "who would have filed it himself." You have decided for yourself that you are not rich enough to help others. There is nothing to worry about, now life is very difficult for many.
All funds are scheduled
Children for kindergarten, school, classes, training, clothes, help for parents, loans hanging - there are many options, choose the one that you like best.
What if someone needs money?
Yes, maybe you don’t want to lend money because you just feel sorry or you think that a person will spend it on some nonsense. In this case, it makes sense to ask a person why he needs your money and what happened to him. When it comes to health, then it will still be ugly to refuse. Well, if you need money for some kind of party or purchase of a blouse, then, “sorry, I won’t give it!”
There is an opinion that it is impossible to lend to loved ones. That it is money that becomes an indicator of your friendship. How many cases there were that people simply disappeared, or they thought that since they were friends, they could not give it away. Well, as it happened to me, as I wrote above. On the other hand, why do we need friends if they cannot help in a difficult situation? A complex topic, as it turns out.
Learn to refuse. This is hard enough to do, but you should follow some rules so as not to offend a person.
Do not hurry
Never immediately answer a request with “yes” or “no.” Say what you need to ask your husband, consult with him, or calculate your budget. Just don't give people false hopes.
Speak firmly
You must be firm in your decision, and not mumble something under your breath. In particular, if the one who asks you for a loan behaves a little impudently, then it is better to respond in the same way to him.
Always give reasons for rejection
If you said “no” to the request, explain why. It’s your right to refuse, but if you don’t want to spoil relations with a person, find in your head the reason why you refuse him.
But what if you use the opposite method? I'm not talking about the school curriculum, I'm talking about our adult life. For example, let's say a person constantly borrows from you and even allows himself not to return the money to you. Or maybe you yourself ask him for a loan? What will it give? You can see his reaction, which you can then adopt for yourself. And even more so, if you ask him 2-3 times, he will understand that you are empty. And he will find another object for "milking".
And how do you refuse your friends and acquaintances when they ask you for a loan? Or do you always help everyone, even if you don’t have a penny for your soul?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-otkazat-kogda-snova-prosyat-v-dolg.html
