My husband and I have known each other for 10 years and we have an 8 year old daughter. In general, we have no complaints against each other and we lead a normal life.
The spouse is a very calm person, I would say supple and soft, in all areas of life. When we first started dating, I thought it was cute. He never argued with me, always agreed with me, brought flowers, fulfilled whims, was polite and did not insist on anything.
The first call was when, after three months of dates and kisses on the cheek goodbye, I could not stand it and asked to kiss me on the lips.
He was embarrassed, but chuckled. Dry "squeezed" lips into a tube.
After there were attempts to teach him to kiss, but he was always very clumsy. There was a feeling that he did not need it, that it was enough for him to hold hands and just be there.
Six months later, we had the first time, again, on my initiative. I felt uneasy, from such a course of our relationship. But, he is a very good person, I loved him, accepted him as he is and tried to fill his embarrassment with my initiative.
We came together a year after we met, played a modest wedding and began to plan a child. As funny as it was, the banal part of the marriage was the real problem. I always initiated the process myself and for periods it seemed that something was wrong with me. This gave rise to complexes.
Fortunately, I got pregnant quickly and other worries began. Repair, arrangement of the nursery, the birth of a daughter, the first steps, kindergarten, school. 7 years flew by like one day.
2 years ago a new employee came to work with us. He immediately began to take an interest in me. For a long time I pretended not to notice his courtship, resisted, turned a blind eye to the sympathy that had arisen.
I began to work even harder on my relationship with my husband, but it only got worse.
And the colleague did not give up, he was always there and reminded me that I was a young, attractive woman.
As a result, after another failure with my husband, I gave up and... lost my head.
As soon as this relationship began, I blossomed, began to look after myself, dress up. It was as if new life had been breathed into me. So many compliments in my direction, I have never heard in my life!
Colleague - self-confident, strong, sometimes arrogant and very persistent. And I so lacked, all these years, the masculine principle. I'm tired of feeling unwanted with a husband who can't even take the initiative in marital duty. And with this man I feel attractive and feminine.
But, I feel guilty all the time. I'm confused and don't know what to do.
The husband is wonderful in every sense, but absolutely nothing as a man. And I'm a woman, and I have my own needs. For all the years, I have not been able to awaken the instincts in my wife, no matter how hard I tried. And I don't think it will work.
The new man is ready for me to leave my husband for him, but I cannot leave my dear person, even if we live together as cohabitants, or as brother and sister.
I feel disgusting, but I see no way out of this situation.
I think time will put everything in its place. In the meantime... come what may. You only live once!
