Probably older children, who are already waiting with their parents for the appearance of younger sisters or brothers, think that this is such a joy, happiness. But expectations are not always justified. And many receive great psychological trauma, which then remains incurable.
So it was with Alya. Now she is already an adult, held woman. She has her own family and does not live with her parents. Now Alya goes to a psychotherapist, and, swallowing tears, reveals her soul.
When her younger sister Masha was born, Ale was 8 years old. Quite a big difference, but the parents seem to have planned it this way. They really wanted a second child, but there was no help from the outside, in the form of grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and other nannies. And now Alya grew up, and the very time came when you could fulfill your dream. Alya was immediately dubbed the eldest, and literally threw the baby on her.
The second-grader girl has new responsibilities. Dress up Masha, play with her, cook dinner, then take her sister to the kindergarten, take a walk with her, and even put her to bed. But there were also lessons. Alya was as if on the sidelines, because everything revolved around Mashenka, so she did her best to show herself as a good girl. I had to cram my lessons and get A's so as not to upset mom and dad.
The parents realized that they had a good helper and decided to give birth to a brother for Ali as well. Her every day was scheduled by the minute. Parents worked, and Alya herself took the children to the garden, walked with them herself, cooked meals herself. It was hard, free time appeared only around seven in the evening, when my mother returned from work.
Nobody was friends with Alya. Well, is it really interesting when a friend is forced to carry two more tails everywhere with her. It turned out that the teenage girl was generally alone, she had many responsibilities, but her parents never said words of gratitude to her. Alya tried to remind of herself, not that she could help in something, but that she was also a child, also their daughter. She began to write notes in which she laid out her whole soul. Alya wrote that her parents did not need her, and that they would notice her only when she ran away from home.
But the parents misunderstood the promises of the soul. All the notes flew into the trash can, and Alya received a portion of the negative in the form of words such as stupid, stupid, ungrateful, etc.
Now Alya told this to a psychotherapist, because everything that was in childhood remained with her forever, rewarding her with a mental wound. Then the specialist asked the question: "What is your most difficult childhood memory?" And, of course, Alya remembered everything. The incident was as if burned into her skin, and it was bleeding.
When my mother was a pregnant brother, she often had to send her daughter to shop. And on this day it was so, only Masha asked for Alya. The task was completed, the food was in the package, and the girls were coming back. On the way home, the baby began to ask for a swing, she just did not want to go anywhere, she was hysterical, screaming at the whole yard. Then Alya decided to fulfill her sister's wish. She put her on a swing, stood with her feet behind herself, and gently rocked her sister. Alya constantly told Masha not to let go of the swing, but the naughty children's fingers unlocked. Masha fell, a swing hit her head. Then Alya experienced a terrible horror when she saw her little sister in a pool of blood.
It turned out that my sister was alive, although at that moment Alya thought that she was dead. Blood flowed from the nose and mouth. Alya called for help, but no one approached them. Then she took her sister in her arms and carried her home. As the mother screamed then, just not in her own voice. An ambulance took her along with her sister, and Alya stayed at home, she sat in the corner and cried. But, fortunately, everything ended well, a couple of stitches, and the family returned home. But the mother did not speak to Alya for several days, trying to ignore how she had missed her.
Then Alya realized that she needed to control her every step, so as not to anger her mother, and so that nothing else would happen. She so did not want to feel like an outcast in the house, but she had no other option.
Alya carried this pain, fear, resentment through the years. Throughout her life, she always tries to control herself, people and situations, strives for self-perfection. But she doesn't succeed.
And now she is sitting at the reception of a psychotherapist, and crying out loud. Will he help her, what do you think?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/starshim-rebenkom-v-seme-byt-slozhno.html
