In Ukraine, one in four children face harassment in schools, and nearly half of the children anything, and no one says, remaining alone with their problems. How to help your child get out of the circle bulinga?
It is now over 35 years since the release of the screens the film "Scarecrow" is no longer the country in which the event occurs, the school system tells usreformBut in relation to bullying, little has changed ...
What is bullying and why children begin to divide the world into friends and foes?
Word bullying denotes the aggressive pursuit of one of the group members, and the kinds of persecution have become more sophisticated, such as cyber-bullying... But in general, whether it be in private schools or in government, in the classroom, where 12 or 35 people, we can meet this phenomenon - bullying, aggression and brutal persecution of someone something that is not like the others.
Already in the 3-4 th grade, we can observe all signs bulinga. Because the onset of adolescence is strongly shifted. Teenagers become in 10 years, not 13-14, as it was previously. And for teens comes to the fore the need of belonging to a group. They begin to rigidly divide the world into "us" and "them" are struggling to become "his" and unite against outsiders.
Stop bullying: bullying types of children in the classroom, and how to help your child / pixabay.com
Who is to blame for bullying
The first children's groups are formed even in the garden. But since the visit of kindergarten is not a regular or optional, and the children are too small, they are more interact with the toys each other than to each other, in kindergartens conflicts between children are situational character.
In school we get a group of children gathered together at random and must stay together a long time. No one asks if they want to be together, no one thinks that they are compatible in principle, that is the environment itself, in this case acting violently.
Further, a lot depends on the teacher, the adult. If the teacher is strict and moderately friendly, he is not afraid to take responsibility, it is capable even of such a diverse group of staff to do that successfully interact. Otherwise, when the teacher works on the principle "you have a lot - I'm alone," "I have just read the subject," we have initially forced to create an environment in which more and no leader. Then the leadership positions are occupied by children aggressor.
Stop bullying: bullying types of children in the classroom, and how to help your child / pixabay.com
Who are they, the children, the aggressors?
The harassment is always 4 groups of participants, about 2 of them consistently overlooked when discussing the problem of bullying.
1. Child-aggressor is formed in the family, in which his or aggressively pressed, or simply ignore, providing material needs, but do not notice the soul. It happens that the aggressor becomes a child of divorced parents, which is painfully aware of what is happening in the family and can not find another way to deal with their feelings.
Anyway child-aggressor - this is the man who, for whatever reasons, do not have enough emotional warmth and support. And now he comes to school. If it cool medium is sufficiently friendly, empathetic and understanding teacher, then the negative effects of a potential aggressor will be balanced and be more of the nature of outbreaks. If there is no friendship, children are left to themselves - negative pulses will be reset to their classmates.
2. Formation of the aggressor - children who are afraid of painful to be in place of the victim. Therefore, they take side forces, thinking that on this side of the aggressor will not notice. Often they act as catalysts baiting process, causing the aggressor. Again, due to the fact that the fear - if no longer poison the victim, it can start to poison them.
3. Victim - children who are somewhat different from the others or provoke bullying own behavior. In any class there are shareware "other" children, they can be weird, eccentric, but in this case the task of the teacher to legalize this otherness, to give it a positive social meaning.
Any children's behavioral characteristics, negatively perceived group is adjusted adults.
For instance, a child who likes to be alone, at recess seeking a secluded space for solitude, you can call an introvert who is tired of the large number of contacts and needs to rest. Cry-Baby can be called creative and sensitive nature. "Bespectacled" praise for the stylish glasses and say what they give the image of solidity. The one who eats messy and causes laughter, you can always help and teach them how to behave at the table. Embarrassing support for the courage to try. All this adult tasks, and this difficult task, from which adults try to disown.
4. witnesses - a large, invisible group. Children who are watching what is happening around them every day, are not directly involved in an event, but have about it a different feeling. And what to do with these feelings, they do not represent. According to recent research the problem of bullying, witnesses traumatized even more than the victim herself.
Stop bullying: bullying types of children in the classroom, and how to help your child / pixabay.com
What should I do if bullying in the classroom: to flee or to fight
What to do if in a classroom where your child, there is bullying? If your child has become a victim?
- Misconception is that a psychologist to work with a victim of bullying, teach her to be socially acceptable. Or work with the aggressor, teaching him to manage anger.
- Report this school's position is that the solution to the problem of bullying - this is only the task of the school psychologist to work with the victim and the aggressor and educational work with the parents in advance. Usually the parents of the aggressor "poddavlivat" collect documents, the victim's parents run themselves.
- Wrong also to believe that bullying, as well as the conflict can be resolved in mediation - they say, you just reconcile, make friends aggressor and the victim.
Stop bullying: bullying types of children in the classroom, and how to help your child / pixabay.com
What adult?
- School administration It should recognize the persecution and take responsibility for its elimination. Often the group is enough that there is a responsible adult, he calls a spade a spade, giving each to speak and says that is unacceptable and will not be more so.
- psychologist work with the aggressor a useless position of strength. Aggressor need to "tame" the normal human relationships, and a lack of which has awakened in a child animal instincts.
- The work of teachers with the whole group, conclude the witnesses in the asset class. As a rule, this is a good, cool kids, who simply did not have enough support to more actively express themselves.
In fact, bullying - a group of diseases. And you need to treat the whole group. And action must be comprehensive. Conflict - a relationship of equals, it occurs at the intersection of interests. Bullying - a relationship unequal, one goal - to suppress, subdue the other. That is, it is violence. Any violence can be stopped. It is in our power.
Also you will be interested to read this: Baiting in school: how to protect your child from bulinga
