No more complicated and responsible to do than to be parents. We are so anxious to give children the best of everything, that sometimes we forget that parenthood should bring us not only cares, but also a sense of joy. And often feel happy, we do not interfere with the external circumstances and our internal installation.
It was "thanks" to them, we, instead of love, tenderness and pleasure of his papacy mamstva and feel just nervousness, anxiety and discouragement. Psychologists are advised to make their parenting is aware and happier abandon stereotypes that we carry with us from childhood.
Compare expectations and reality.We namechtali imagine what will be our baby, we will study together and parenthood should look like as a whole. But the child is not obliged to justify our expectations on his account. And if dad dreamed of his son, to have someone to go fishing, and the child it was quite interesting, the problem is not in the child, but the father's views, as it should be. In order not to be disappointed, stop to compare what is happening with what you imagined.
Compete with other parents.You do not take part in the competition or tournament on the best mom and dad, and the child - not a thoroughbred racehorse. Cease to climb out of the skin to be perfect, and that the achievements of your baby was definitely more than the neighbor Petit, for example. Once it becomes a lot easier.
Squeeze. Of course, our job as parents to guide the child and teach him the permissible limits. But we can not live their lives for it, and not for nothing. Help your child to discover its potential, find what it is really interesting, but do not decide for him, as he is better. If the mother dreamed of becoming a ballerina, you do not need to convince the daughter that she does, too.
Yell. This method does not work. With a cry you can just "let off steam" and lose their negative emotions to the child, but to convince him of the correctness you can not. Usually from screaming kids just fall into a stupor and cease to think. Much better to inhale / exhale and try to calmly explain to his son or daughter, and that is why you are not satisfied in his actions. And yet, imagine how it looks from the outside: a little frightened child, over which hangs screaming adult. Shaped nightmare.
Worrying.In our country, the alarm is closely linked with the knowledge to be a good parent. "If I'm not worried about your child, then I'm a bad mother." And often mothers and fathers instinctively looking for a reason to worry enough, even where it is not. Just understand: a constant feeling of anxiety can not protect your child and make it healthier and happier (and you, by the way, too).
To force him to eat. Another idea that comes from the childhood. A good parent should go to the bones, but to feed their beloved child. What for? Do you think, from overeating or eating through the power of the baby will be healthier? It is well known that food violence leads to indigestion, digestive diseases and psychological problems. Is that you wish for your child? Teach your child to rely on your body and eat when he wants to.
Sacrifice themselves. It is not necessary to throw himself on the sacrificial altar of parenthood. Children - a very important aspect of our lives, but as though it may sound seditious, not the only one. It is not necessary for a child to forget about their desires, interests, basic needs. Especially the baby from you that is not required. Moreover, such an attitude to parenthood is simply dangerous to the physical and mental health as you and the child.
Make decisions unilaterally. Arrange family councils and attracts the child. For example, in the general discussion may ask: how to spend a weekend, what to cook for dinner or what color to paint the walls in the living room. So the child will feel part of the family and understand that his opinion is important to you.
Send a negative message. Notice how negative the promises we casually helmet child, not Schumi, sit quietly, do not ask too many questions. But instead, we can say: let's rest a little bit, let's try to find an answer to your question. Of course, this approach requires time and patience, but when your child enters adolescence, you will have less reason to worry about it.
Trying to be a perfect parent.Chances are you and so they are. After all, the perfect parent - is not the one who always does everything right and, as one who truly loves his child can recognize their mistakes and heartily laugh at them. Be happy next to your baby!
