Everyone needs friends. Someone dozens of them, and some have two or three, but - most proven. What if your child has appeared virtual friend from his fantasy, sort of a Carlson. What to do?
According to statistics, imaginary friends appear in 70% of children aged 3 to 6 years. What if each of your child - a virtual, no not from the social network, as often happens with adults, and existing only in the imagination, the world's smallest man fantasies
Who is this Carlson?
Suddenly, unexpectedly, your daughter cries out for a walk, "Wait, Tanya from behind us!" You look around in bewilderment, no Thani and do not close... The case is forgotten, but for dinner again there is a problem: Tanya is necessary to release the chair and put a cutlet. Who is she?! And then girl explains that this fox, a squirrel, or a sheep, and it is likely the same girl as she was, and recounts the biography of a new girlfriend.
The first reaction from their parents, of course, a shock. This is: an aberration, a mental illness or a violent fantasy offspring? And what to do? Run to a psychologist or try to ignore the temporary quirk?
If you read many parenting forums, it becomes clear: the invisible buddies usually appear in children between 3 and 6 years old, because it was then beginning to flourish imagination. At about 7 years they were gradually forgotten and lost. But in this period of your offspring is needed role-playing games, and very easy to attract them is a virtual companion. Firstly, because it is always "at hand", and secondly, it can be endlessly transformed, to entrust him with any, even the impossible, task.
The child has invented one: how to respond to parents / istockphoto.com
Invisible friend, say a wolf or a bear
Sometimes almost invisible friend does not manifest itself, sometimes appearing only in the figures. His presence might find by accident. For example, the son captures the image of your recent trip to the zoo: here you are, here he is, here's cells with animals, but lags behind some strange creature... Of course, you are interested Who this is?
It was then, and found very interesting details! It turns out that this is the wolf, which for several months asleep on the mat at the door and accompanies you on every walk. But also fictional characters often become full members of the family, they eat, they sleep together with you participate in talk, express their opinion, have the character, sometimes very friendly and flexible, but there is enough space troublemaking. Periodically they receive material shell, having filled in a favorite toy, a house plant or piece of furniture.
Sometimes, imaginary friends are got from a lack of real communication or stress, which occurred in his life: moving to a new place, the birth of sister or brother, death of a beloved pet.
The child has invented one: how to respond to parents / istockphoto.com
Well, just a movie!
However, in large families, parents often find their children in the company of foxes, bears, hamsters and a spider. If a child has a rich imagination, he'll spawn around her fictional characters, regardless of the external circumstances.
Sometimes parents are afraid, will not start if a child to be confused with the real world invented? However, psychological research shows that, in general, feelings that kids experience to its unusual buddies emotions akin to an adult about a good movie or liked book. After all, we really empathize with the heroes of art, and at times they even help us find way out of difficult situations, surfacing but in reality, quietly immersed in the everyday case. Similarly arrives and the child watch: going to kindergarten or circle, he usually leaves a friend's house or on the porch institutions. But, as proven by psychologists, dialogues with imaginary characters help develop part of the brain responsible for the puzzle-solving and planning their actions.
The child has invented one: how to respond to parents / istockphoto.com
Call rabbits and expel hippos
But mom and dad behave with imaginary friends?
- To ignore them? Or maybe "believe" in their reality and to communicate on a par with a kid?
- Try and so, and commercials, take a look at their own fumes as it more like, you see, after all this is his friend, so let itself decides. If a kid asks VIRTUAL pour a bowl of soup, do, or ask them to eat from the same dish, put them to sleep side by side, and then let my friend to settle down under the bed, or on a window sill.
- Play along with his son or daughter, and his own imagination once again potreniruetes. But in any case, do not scold crumbs, Forbid him not to communicate with the invisible, otherwise the baby might think that with them that something is wrong and inward.
- However, occasionally a fictional one rowdy and pakostnichat: scatters toys, pouring milk, to give orders to brush their teeth and eat porridge. And sometimes children are deliberately dump the blame on his own imaginary characters. In this case, too, try to contain their emotions, do not cry, that there are no hippos, and you yourself and dunce dunce! Quietly agree: let's better'll call rabbits, they will help us to eliminate this whole mess. And then you can play with a little hippos. It is likely the baby after some time he refused to communicate with friends unattractive.
- As a rule, fictional friends lost themselves in 6-7 years, for a time in the school. But if they appeared after 7 years, and no strongly traumatic circumstances in the lives of offspring did not happen, it is a reason to turn to a psychologist. Although he, in most cases, simply advise you to communicate more with his son and take it any useful activity, as an option, going to the sports section or artistic school.
What psychologists say
Causes of fictional friend - a lot.
- The most common - violent children's imagination. Do not strangle her! In the future, imagination will help the child more successful in school. Imagine that you have taken away the ability to dream and to live then?
- Ask questions, find out the details, ask a friend sculpt or draw invisibility together come up with him amusing biography. Just win, baby starts to trust you even more.
2. The second reason - lack of attention from parents. A child of 4 years began to tell my relatives that he had two dads and moms as many as 10! To the question: why would he so much his parents, he explains one mother goes to work, the other washing and cleaning, the third dinner was ready, and so on, and the tenth most recent - to play with him!!! A virtual dads just all permit. Actually sister raised her son alone and was torn between work, home and child, and that's the sad result.
In this case, no matter how you have been busy revising their own schedule. After all, no fancy toys can not replace a son or daughter living communion with the most expensive people.
- Sometimes invented companion rescues toddler from punishment. Probably, your reaction to his offenses is not always adequate, so he hides behind Malchish-baddie.
If the "friend" is constantly outrageously, throws things and toys, tell your child that a "friend" you are upset, offend and you do not want to play with him.
3. Sometimes, a fictional character embodies the child's fear, communication problems with peers. Then the kid refuses to be friends with these children, and "invisible" for a long time do not disappear.
- Virtual Try to ask what he thinks about the kindergarten, the teacher, the children in the yard, and about yourself. The fact that the baby does not dare to tell you, it will be easier to put into the mouth of a "friend". And having found out the true reason, you can begin to solve it.
- A very effective way - to send an invisible friend on a long journey. In the meantime, to find the children of an interesting exercise or game. Switch to compose his fantasy tales, invent them together or in succession.
- It is also useful to check out stories about Carlson, Peter Pan and Winnie the Pooh. Again, make sure that the existence of an imaginary friend is not evidence of any deviations. Sometimes a friend can become your good assistant in the difficult business of education of the little man.
- And often shows the child the love and then a virtual character very quickly gone from your life.
Also you will be interested to read this:We learn to distinguish between children's fantasy from outright lies
