Japanese children sometimes seem alien to us - so they are collected, organized and educated. While in Japan, you will not see screaming at the kid or street child who pulls the supermarket mother's sleeve and tearfully begging for a toy. And all because that Japanese mothers own secret methods of education, unknown to their Western counterparts.
Let's try to solve the mystery and find out how to bring up children in Japan and what we should learn from the Japanese women.
The secret of the first, "amae"
In Japan, send their children to the garden up to 3 years old are not accepted, as well as to entrust his upbringing grandmothers or nannies. Before this age the baby is integrally formed with the mother: they sleep together, my mother a long time wearing it for yourself (in the old days in the construction such as the sling (onbuhimo), and in our time in modern devices). Also not taken the kids, preschool age children in Japan to scold. For a mother to her child is perfect and it takes love and patience, all that he does.
This was a surprise, wrote in his book "Japan and its inhabitants" more than 100 years ago Orientalist G. East: "No grouchy, no rigor, the pressure on children is in such a gentle manner that it seems as if the children themselves are raising, and that Japan - a paradise for children, where there is not even prohibited fruit. "
This approach to child-rearing is far from permissive, as is commonly believed in the West. It forms in the child a sense of its usefulness, that he loved and good. And he really did not want to destroy that image and upset mother. This is the "amae". Loosely translated this word in Russian can be as "affection", "dependence on the love of neighbor." It is the basis of the relationship between parents and children: children can fully rely on their parents and do not want to disappoint them, and the elderly receive care from adult children.
The secret second "ikudzi"
Probably many have heard about the Japanese education system, "ikudzi". Recall, it states: "A child under 5 years old - God's servant to 15, with 15 - equal". But many do not understand what is actually in her question. Now we will explain.
As mentioned above, up to 5 years, the rule applies "amae" to the child. In the first stage, as we recall, the child is surrounded by unconditional love and support. Nowhere it is not lost and in the second stage. Just when the baby gets older, his socialization begins when he has to realize that the interests of society above the interests of the individual. Both parents help him to take his place in society.
By the way, in Japanese schools, where a significant role covers not only education, but also education, completely there is no competition. Children are not taken to compare with each other and put someone above the other. The spirit of competition is not even on school sports competitions. Look at the photo below Princess Aiko (second from right) speaks with his school friends at a sports festival in Tokyo.
In the third stage the child is seen as a fully formed person. Nurture it was too late, it is to reap the benefits.
Secret three: traditional family values
While parenting is mainly engaged mom, great importance is attached to communication kid with senior members of the family - grandparents and other relatives. Bloodlines in Japan is very important. Family - this is the place "amae", so the child always feels secure rear, security, care and love. Intergenerational relations are very warm, and decided to seek advice from the elderly.
The secret of the fourth: a personal example
The book Icahn Osamu "Japan. How to understand it "describes an interesting experiment. Japanese and European mothers were asked to put together a pyramid with children.
Japanese mothers showed children by example how to do it, and then asked to collect. If you can not have a child, showed him again. A European mother just explain in detail the kids how it's done. And then demanded of them, they were to collect it yourself.
Japanese mothers do not require the children directly. They personal example as if the baby is fed to the need for action.
The secret of the fifth: An Education
To live in a society, it is necessary to respect the feelings and appreciate other people's interests. So teach children Japanese mother. And as always, do it by example. That is, they respect and appreciate the feelings and interests of their children.
Also in the education they often involve emotional component. For example, if a child breaks a toy, mother would not shame him, saying that he does bad, but the toy is expensive. It says this: "Look, toy hurt, she'd cry."
IMPORTANT: We're not trying to convince you that the Japanese training methods are ideal. But agree to support the family, love and patience of a child - is something that should learn from the Japanese mothers.
And be sure to find out 6 golden rules for education of Jewish mothers.
