As parents, we want to put the best of them to grow successful, intelligent, educated and, of course, happy in their children. At the same time we put forward a number of demands to the child, which in our opinion is quite logical and reasonable: to example, the child should behave diligently in school every day eat lunch soup.
And if for some reason the kid does not meet our requirements and expectations of how it should be, we grieve and even offended. To avoid this, we offer you a list of things that are pointless to require their children.
It's time to stop waiting, the child will always be "good". Do not ask a child that he was "comfortable" and the always well-behaved. After all, it makes it to contain in itself the experiences and emotions and afraid throw them out. In adulthood unlived emotions can result from psychological problems, lack of currently, the inability to say "no" and insist on the physical terminals and even very specific disease.
To avoid this, let the child be different, because you, too, are not always in a good mood. Anger, irritation, joy and sadness - all these and other emotions have a right to exist. Teach your child that he should not feel guilty for what feels anger or aggression that experience emotions - this is normal, but also must be able to keep them under control. Following the outbreak of anger, talk to him about why he reacted and has not been, in his view, the possibility to get out of a situation in a different way.
Be sure to praise your baby. But not in the abstract, evaluating him, "You are good," and his actions: "You're doing fine, that he has collected toys." Also, never tell your child that he is bad. It would be better to say: "I do not like you doing this."
It's time to stop waiting on the children that they are "somehow will understand." To invest in children's representation head about how the world works, "what is good and what is bad", only parents can. It is they who are the custodians of the microcosm in which the baby lives and link with a large alien world. How the world will be perceived by the child as a friendly or hostile, it depends solely on the parents.
Talk with your child on any subject, tell me about all the diversity of the world and that the child is entitled to their opinion, the views are close to him, not only society or its nearest environment.
It's time to stop waiting on them, they will behave as adults. Yes, they are excited, and quickly settle down slowly. They have no brakes, it features a children's nervous system. It takes time and patience to them something to impress and they do not pretend they do not understand that you annoy. For them, it is still really hard.
And he's crying and acting up after a fun day out at the zoo, not because an ingrate and does not appreciate the fact that you have to he do, but because they just tired, because positive emotions overwhelmed just as the nervous system, as well as negative. And on the ground, he can not sit still, not because it does not know how to behave, but because it behaves according to age. Very often we get annoyed, that the children misbehave, and they simply behave like children. Childhood passes very quickly and do not need to expect from the child's behavior before adult time. Give him a chance to just be a kid.
Do not expect the child that he is someone else. Parents often compare your baby with the other children. And not just compare, but voicing it aloud. The daughter of a friend for a long time helping around the house and a neighbor's son has won Olympiad in mathematics. But your child is not better or worse. He's just different. With a different set of weaknesses and strengths, and compare it with someone else - a very silly.
Compare the child only with himself: yesterday you told better verse or today you better got to draw a cow. It is important to only desire your child to develop and learn new things and transcend themselves yesterday, not something that can Petya from a neighboring apartment.
It's time to stop waiting, that the child will copy your behavior. Often, we demand that the children of those qualities which do not possess themselves. If the parents are very rarely take up a book, it is foolish to try to sit on a vacation for her child and tell him about the benefits of reading.
Mom, the house is constantly in chaos and that requires a child's room or a school backpack was the order, too, will not succeed. Just like Dad, who always is late or does not keep the data the child promises, but very angry with optionality and punctuality on the baby. As well as quite useless to tell a child about the dangers of smoking with a cigarette in his mouth, or on healthy eating, leaning on the chips.
And if we wait for the child that he will behave as a "good kid", the right thing will behave "like good parents." Take care of yourself and your loved ones!
