We are going through difficult times, we worry, experience, experience fear for the family, for the children's safety and for the future. Our emotions child reads and is also beginning to experience and feel fear. How to protect the child from fear and instill a sense of security told a well-known children's family psychologist and author of books and training on children's family psychology Svetlana Roiz programs.
Svetlana has published a post on this topic on his page in facebook. We retain full authorship and give the text unchanged:
"I wrote this story - about how to talk to children about terrorizme- a few years ago. Now another context. Now I do not have time to write your own text on the current situation. But the important actions and our reactions - and the introduction of martial law - are unchanged. (The child, we can say - in our country is in trouble. And now a huge number of adults think and do everything possible so that we were safe). The emphasis in conversations with children - on security. The material - action and a link to the material with simple practices and games with children to stabilize.
The basic needs of any human - the need for security. Only feeling safe - child dares to explore the world, to move away from the parent to grow. Knock out support - a sense of security - is to deprive a person of vitality. The difference between adult and child - the strength and experience, reactions, action. Informed choices these reactions and actions.
We can not influence the world - we can influence the world and the one we are forming a projection of - at the child in the inner world. We are faced with the fact that in today's world, unfortunately, there is only the illusion of security, but we can be secure in the support of a child's life. Important to have at least our internal stability in external instability.
In any complex events and topics - the child tries to lean on us. It is important that we are able to cope with his anxiety and accommodate a child's stress. Internal words and image: I can do, I'm an adult, I have the size of the earth and the sky and wide as the ocean - very large - can become helpers. we - the container for the child experiences.
Terrorist attack - it's always a surprise. It is always a trauma. Any action that pose threat to life, integrity, security - affects all of our internal structure - body, emotions, self-esteem... The attack designed to knock our habitual and rational support and provoke panic, stupor or aggression and REVENGE.
Any news related to "life and death" affects our most ancient part - reptilian (reptilian) brain. It is responsible for the survival and rapid response. Ancient reptiles need to survive - food take away, to stand, to fend off the danger. They are not able to speak, to make plans and to empathize. Once switched on, this part of the brain, we no longer think rationally. We fuss and panic or fall into a stupor, or show aggression and intolerance. At this time, we, unfortunately, do not realize what is happening. All panic vborsy designed for it, all the attacks provoke in us a state of traumatisation - the constant tension and a sense of anxiety and panic. If we know that this is a conscious action - our task is to deprive the terrorists of fun - not to provoke. Every effort to maintain a sense of stability.
The smaller the child, the less information
Any child of any age is in contact with adult feelings. Even if we do not say anything, but going through the child "retracts" in our funnel. The more active emotions, the more important rationalization - an explanation.
Child up to two years you can just say (even mentally) - I'm with you. You're safe. I can handle. I can take care of you and themselves. The child is important to embrace or even touch the body, it is important that the child's legs and back felt a support.
Child up to 10 yearswe can say: "Mom / Dad is upset because they learned the news. Far (it is important to distance the child from the event) a few (important to determine the number of) people who are very angry, hurt done to others. (They did bad, damaging, destroying, to hurt). Now many people care and correct what can be corrected. Very sorry for the victims... we can about them (to think, pray, wish a good, light a candle, put the flowers). But we're safe. Mom and Dad next to you. We care about you and we care. " Very important emphasis on the fact that - from the fact that there is a group of violent people in the world, the world itself is not bad. And most people can be trusted.
Of course, if the child does not ask questions, we confine ourselves to a short phrase. If the child is asked a question - short answer, waiting for the next question. Answer questions necessarily child. If we do not answer, it is important, along with the older child to search the Internet, have a reputable acquaintances. To speak only of the state of his adult stability. A child of any age is dangerous to know about the tragedies of television news. The boundary between fantasy (screen) life and objective reality is blurred. Many children suffer everything they see on the screen - in your inner world. For them, it can be prohibitive load.
Difficult subject - a reason to talk
Talk about what to do in extreme situations, an occasion to clarify: know whether the child's name, address, remember, phone (channel PLYUSPLYUS have a series of "useful tips" about what to do during a fire, if lost, and many other).
Words that are important to hear the child,
We're safe now. I and a lot of people will do everything that we were safe.
Everyone has his own destiny and his own life. I believe in your and our happy and good fortune.
Bad people much less than good. Let us remember those you love and those who care about you.
important steps
If possible action - think about what help - what action feasible opportunity in this situation.
• Play.The limbic system of the brain - is activated when the fear and play. Let the children there will be a game.
• Hug: each time, hugging the child, we create around it an additional margin of safety. to increase contact with the body, keep your hands on the feet of the child (do massage of legs) -so we help to feel support. (jump)
• Allow, if necessary, to show the power of body - run, jump, shout.
• Paint and to paint a mandala (draw in a circle), delineate the palms, feet, the whole body to paint coloring - with wide borders - all this helps to restore a sense of boundaries.
• Choose materialson which you can feel the controls - plasticine, clay, bread crumb, angular sand, dough, drawing oil pastels or wax crayons.
• Use breakage appliqué (Hands to tear colored paper into small pieces and these pieces with a glue stick to make a collage).
• Paint oil pastel on dark paper.
• Do breathing exercises (Exhalation longer inhalation) - whistle flute, bubbles, balloons.
• Draw - master cabins,Merits to the houses on the backside (eg, snails), play with matchboxes.
• fantasize - to draw, model, create an imaginary magic safer world.
• If you are currently not possible to transform the fearCreate safe for him - chest folder. Draw, put in a "safe place", tightly closed. (This provides temporary relief of fear).
• Create an image of the Guardian (Something more than just a man.) Angel, magical dog-conductor and so on.
• Talk about the soul.
• Play with water. Represent water, body of water, to observe how the raging waves are transformed into sheep, draw water space (although this figure will be Dynamic - we start with strong waves, gradually settling down to keep his hands under the water, gradually reducing the pressure, the water clatter palms, reducing intensity).
I look forward to the good news. "
more information here: https://www.facebook.com/svetlanaroyz/posts/2321241934576065
