The problem of raising children in today's world - career of many authors who, covering various aspects of the topic, often come together in the debate. Among those - Psychologist Anatoly Nekrasov, author of "A mother's love."
What could be more beautiful than this feeling? Almost every writer refers to it as a panacea. But Nekrasov in his work shows the parents (especially mothers) a completely different side of the coin - excessive maternal love that brings suffering and disappointment that no joy nor parents, nor children. Throughout the book, Nekrasov suggests thinking, and whether you need to get the feeling that destroys relationships?
Rare mom just accept the fact that her sincere feelings, in fact, no other than the proprietary, selfish, and sometimes even a sacrificial attitude toward his dearest little man, "single window in window. " In his book Nekrasov causes a lot of examples from his own practice, where a beautiful and tender maternal feelings, in fact, hides the desire for self-realization at the expense of the child and total control, crippling young creation not allowed to fill their own life "Bumps".
According to Nekrasov, such a "scenario" is formed in the vast majority of women on an instinctive level immediately after birth: birth, therefore, must protect, even to the detriment of personal relationships to the rest of his life with her husband (very often it immediately after birth relegated to the plan). So really think many women, says Nekrasov, but it's not their fault in this. Generation of our grandmothers and mothers increased by another ideology, where "the state and religion are encouraged sacrifice because they were interested in it." But the opinion of the author radically different: "True love for the child is manifested in the creation of pairs, rather than focusing on the love and attention of the child. The best help parents - do not interfere with the children to live their lives, and the best assistance to parents of children - to help them to create their own happiness. "
According to the author, it is an indisputable fact, of course, help the child by the parents. Of course, it is necessary, he said, especially in the first years of life, but some of this assistance is extended until the end of days, as if the mothers believe that they can live for one's own life, to embody it in his child.
This topic - not only in this book. In several chapters, he reveals in detail not only the issues of creating a harmonious family, as a basis foundations, but also talks about the system of values in human life, mental maturity and the right entry into it.
Most of the book Nekrasov dedicated mature (retirement) age. By the way, offer to read it to your parents, I think they will discover some valuable points. Namely, in contrast to many pensioners, considering his age and old age as a preparation for the care to the light, Nekrasov considers this stage valuable life period which can be devoted to self-development, so that the most interesting and useful to carry out, the vacant after long labors, time. And beloved by most elderly people the phrase: "We outlived her, we have nothing, all for the children now" perceived very negatively by the author. He believes that such behavior parents are programming their children to the hopeless and utterly uninteresting old age.
I assure you, after reading the book, you will discover many new things. But it will find that some situations like in your life. And yet, it seems to me, you suddenly arises the feeling that you for a moment back to the family home and as if by We see how you brought your parents, only to have it looked at my adult eyes in conjunction with the author decryption.
And maybe, just start reading, you immediately have the feeling of protest: Nekrasov says enough horror stories consequences of "wrong" maternal love, until death of a child. Most likely, the exaggeration of events, he wanted as much as possible to attract the attention of mothers.
Personally, I am convinced of the rightness of Nekrasov (by the way, my mother also gave me a book, and the result was not long in coming, as promised the author) and found a lot of evidence to him in the examples of their environment. But, as with any other author, the theory Nekrasov and statements, of course, is debatable. However, this should be done only after reading the book to the end. In short, a pleasant and productive pastime you!
