Mom at zero: 7 ways to cope with burnout

Every mother constantly shares with her children a lot of internal resource: love, patience, care. She keeps the house and family life in order, spends a lot of time ensuring that all the needs of the family are met, often to the detriment of her own desires.

And, of course, the mother's internal resource is depleted. This is a normal phenomenon, burnout overtakes both working mothers and housewives.

Each woman may have her own reasons: the constant suppression of her own desires and needs, the lack of results of her activities, a feeling of meaninglessness of everything that happens, the same type of every day, lack of support and gratitude, physical fatigue, lack of sleep and etc.

It is important that burnout must be dealt with. After all, it brings suffering to you and your loved ones.

Signs of maternal burnout

• health problems: frequent headaches, pain in the back, neck and limbs,
• constant depressed mood, do not please activities that usually bring pleasure;
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• complete lack of sexual desire;
• feeling of constant fatigue even immediately after waking up;
• no strength for everyday affairs, self-care;
• relatives cause only negative emotions and feelings of guilt for these emotions;
• memory has deteriorated, it is difficult to concentrate;
• you constantly want to eat, you overeat - or your appetite is completely gone.

The main thing to remember is that burnout passes. You are tired, you need to take care of yourself and not jump to conclusions.

Promise yourself not to make any life-changing decisions until your spirits lift.

How moms deal with burnout

1. Plan your holiday

Mom should have regular rest and time for herself. You can make excuses for a long time that you are working, that no one helps you with the child, that there is no time even for business, let alone for yourself, etc.

Often, burnout occurs when the child is sick - the mother simply runs out of strength, but resting here is also unrealistic.

But you need to face the truth: if a person is hungry, he must eat, if he wants to sleep, then only sleep will help him out, and if he is tired, then only rest.

You are a wise and multi-tasking mom who is always figuring out how to spend your energy. So, you can figure out how to find time to relax.

Time for yourself and for rest will not arise out of nowhere. If no one has offered you help before, then it is unlikely that they will suddenly do it.

If you can’t find a free day or evening for yourself, let it be at least a couple of hours, but regularly and only for yourself. Not in order to cook borsch, do the cleaning, etc., but time for yourself and for your own pleasure. Think in advance what you will do, prepare your family and all your affairs for the fact that no one should touch you at this time.

2. Invite friends and relatives

It is often inconvenient for mothers to ask for help, but if you are in a state of complete burnout, then you have reached a boiling point where there is no other way out. You need to get distracted, switch over, and at least for a while entrust babysitting to someone else.

Tell your friend/relative/mom/dad/brother directly that you are in urgent need of rest. Often even those close to you may not be aware of your true state. Helping you and one evening a month to sit with your child is not such a difficult task for them.

And remember that many people just don't feel comfortable saying no. Use it to your advantage, you need it now.

3. Create pleasant daily rituals

Do something joyful and pleasant for yourself every day. Let this be your daily self-care ritual.

In the morning, distract your child with a cartoon and sit quietly and slowly drink a cup of hot coffee with a healthy sandwich.

During the day, make yourself a nourishing face mask.

In the evening before going to bed, spend at least 20 minutes reading an interesting book (not about children and upbringing). Buy yourself beautiful and comfortable sleepwear, change your bed linen more often to enjoy falling asleep.

4. Meditate

For a visible effect, you do not need to be a guru of spiritual practices or sit in some tricky position.

It is enough to allocate 10 minutes a day (you can do it - just delete Instagram from your smartphone).

Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, focus on slow and calm breathing: inhale for 6 counts, exhale for another 6 counts. Try not to think about anything, pay attention only to your breathing, feel how calmly your arms and legs lie, how your shoulders and neck relax.

After 10 minutes of such relaxation, you will have much more energy and good mood than after a dose of caffeine.

5. Set goals

To see progress and the result of your activities, set goals for yourself. It doesn't matter small or big.

Challenge yourself, plan your path and reach your goal. Lose 5 kg, go 2 weeks without sweets, learn to do 50 push-ups, walk 15 km a day, read 4 books in a month, knit a hat for your child - it doesn’t matter what you do with yourself.

But it should be something with a visible and tangible result.

6. Train your body

You can always find an excuse not to exercise. But our task is to find an opportunity.

It has long been proven that physical activity is an excellent antidepressant. So use it, it will definitely not get worse.

Do morning exercises, gradually increasing its duration.

Can't figure out which exercises to do? Find a channel on TV or YouTube that shows collective exercises in the morning. Do it alone, with your husband or children, do not be shy.

Can't go to the gym? No sports equipment? Work out at home with your own weight. Push-ups, jumps, squats - a million exercises, it's enough to "google".

7. Become a Volunteer

Find 1-2 projects in which you can do charity work and provide all possible assistance.

Often helping other people who are in an even more difficult situation energizes, with a desire to live, to help even more, to see the real results of their efforts.

And most importantly: do not go into all serious. Overeating, an abundance of sweets, alcohol, cigarettes - all this will not eliminate the true cause of your condition, but will only worsen your health and make you feel more guilty.

All you need is to take care of yourself. Though small, but regular.

It will also be interesting to read:

• how to stop stress eating - 8 tips
• 6 types of fatigue and how to deal with them
• how to communicate with "energy vampires" - advice from psychologists