Divorce is always hard. In terms of pain, divorce is second only to the pain of the death of a loved one. But we must remember that life after parting does not end. Of course, someone will say that talking is easy. But I urge you not to become discouraged, but how to do it, how to decide on a new relationship and enjoy every day - read on.
Tips for women to help “survive” after a divorce
Hold on 3 months
According to statistics, the first 3 months after a divorce are the most difficult. It will be incredibly difficult, heavy thoughts will begin to torment. You will begin to think what caused the discord in the family. Lostness will appear, it will seem to you that life is over, that now you will always be in such a depressed state. And here's what's best for you:
1. Arrange a reboot in the apartment
If you stayed in the apartment where you used to live with your husband, then, if possible, get rid of furniture, interior items and other things that remind you very much of the former. You can sell things, and with the money you get, buy something new for the house.
2. Get rid of the clutter in the house
Arrange a global cleaning, find your place for each thing, rearrange, and, if possible, arrange a real repair.
3. Give yourself a reboot
You can change your haircut, hairstyle, repaint, go in for sports / yoga, go shopping, visit a beautician, do a manicure and pedicure.
4. Sort out the refrigerator
It's time to get rid of everything fatty and harmful, and "settle" more fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator. A new life has begun for you, and may you have a new menu with it. Drink plenty of water, eat healthy food in small portions.
5. Plan the next day
Clearly write down all the tasks and activities that you need to do, and strictly observe their implementation. Enter something new into your schedule. You can sign up for some courses, start going to the library, walk more, etc. Try to communicate more with people, so you can more easily survive the first time after a divorce.
6. stop whining
Start loving and appreciating yourself! Why do you let your emotions control you? Get yourself a “thank you” jar, write down on a piece of paper every day what good things happened today, and put it in a jar. In a year, you will be interested in reading your notes!
Learn how to communicate with your ex
Do you still have hope that things will get better? Enough, nothing will happen, it's time to get up and move on, and already without him!
Here are the rules to follow:
1. Stop looking for a meeting with him
You can resolve almost all issues through intermediaries, some acquaintances, and even through lawyers. The only exception is in matters relating to children.
2. Get rid of his things
He had already taken everything he needed. It is better to get rid of the rest, and not store it for months, or even years.
3. Stop following him on social media
No need to poison your soul. Remove it from all social networks.
4. Release fond memories of him
The human brain is so arranged that everything bad is very quickly forgotten, and we continue to remember only the good. No need to justify your ex, stop painting his false image. At least for a while, let go of all the good memories. When your feelings subside a bit, you can safely take out a box of photos and get nostalgic, but now you don’t need to do this.
5. Don't hide behind children
No need to look for meetings with your ex-husband, using your children for this. And do not set them against the father.
6. Don't talk negatively about your ex
Whatever happens between you, you should not pour mud on your ex-husband, especially when there are potential partners nearby.
Start dating again, but be careful
Many women after a divorce withdraw into themselves, others, on the contrary, indulge in all serious. Here, too, it is worth adhering to two basic rules:
1. Stop looking for the perfect man
You need to look not for the ideal, but for someone who will respect you, appreciate you, who will not put you in last place, who will not deceive you. And ideal people do not exist.
2. Learn to value your principles
Always remember what is important to you, even if there is just a gorgeous man nearby. Always think about your wants and needs. Be yourself, don't pretend, and don't conform to anyone. If a man wants to change you, then this is not your man.
Don't be afraid to build relationships, but do it right
No need to immediately look for a replacement for the former, and dissolve in it. To avoid disappointment, follow these tips:
1. Become self-sufficient
You don't have to humiliate yourself in front of anyone. If a man stops calling you, it means that he is simply not interested in you, and there are no other options!
2. Keep your distance
A man should not be your girlfriend or vest for tears!
3. Don't be a mother
If you cared too much about your ex-husband, then do not repeat your mistakes. If you want to take care of someone, then it is better to take care of children, or get a dog. You don't have to be a mommy for a man!
4. Don't try to change a man
If you do not like his habits, his behavior, his appearance, then you are clearly out of the way. Either you accept the man for who he is, or you better not continue your relationship any further.
5. Don't mess with an unfree man
No married, divorced, living with wives only for the sake of children. You're not going to just become a man's mistress!
Dear women, many people go through divorce. Look within yourself for the strength to move on. Everything will definitely work out! Hope these tips help you!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-vyzhit-posle-razvoda-sovety-dlya-zhenshhin.html
