Out of the best intentions and the desire to raise an obedient and "comfortable" child, parents instill in girls from early childhood that they are obliged to satisfy the needs of other people. They are taught to listen to instructions about their insignificance and humbly put up with it.
As a result, girls brought up in this way most often marry abusers, manipulators, despots and tyrants.
Below are examples of upbringing, thanks to which you will raise the future wife of a tyrant.
When girls from the age of 6 hear such a reproach from their parents:
What a slob you are, you can't even clean up after yourself!
But how are you going to live if you are not able to warm up your own soup!
What a mess you are, you don't look after your appearance!
As they grow older, starting from the age of 14, reproaches are added according to the wife's code:
What husband would tolerate unwashed dishes!
What man wants a woman who can't cook!
But who will live with such a slut!
Etc.
The words seem to be correct, but, being in adulthood, such girls live solely for the sake of pleasing others. They do not understand their needs and think that if they do not do everything according to the rules, there is simply nothing to love them for. They feel insignificant and flawed without the function of a housekeeper, a cook and satisfying other people's desires.
But, there are women who were told in childhood: dear, you are a beautiful creature and perfect by nature. You can dance or play the piano, you are beautiful in any of your manifestations. And, if you have a desire to clean, cook, have children and so on - that's fine. If not, you are perfect anyway.
The message for education can be different. The first one raises a person without understanding his own desires, a slave of another person. The second is to grow an individual who loves himself and is not afraid to be uncomfortable.
Do not think that if you reproach the child day after day, he will be perfect. Also, do not think that if you do not reproach, he will grow up useless.
It is important to make it clear to the child that he is wonderful in himself and to educate not with guilt, but with motivation to do something. Praise is not for the cause, but without evaluation, saying what a child is wonderful in itself, even if he did not wash the dishes or forgot to put things in the closet. There can be many variations. The main thing - do not educate weak-willed slaves. Love children and help them develop their best qualities.
Do not fixate children on shortcomings, praise and love for no reason, and you will grow up a self-confident person who can handle everything!
