Of course, adjusting to others and trying to please everyone is not a good thing to do. But still, sometimes the opinion of others can be a very useful guide for a person. Predicting the reaction of the interlocutor can help, say, on a date or when applying for a job. Use these psychological techniques, only be careful. Because if you get too carried away by the opinions of others, it can negatively affect your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Calculate what others think of us
Your opinion of yourself and the opinion of others about you are different
The human brain is a real pessimist. He everywhere feels a flaw, a dirty trick and danger. We are so arranged, it's hard to deal with it. Thanks to this, we were able to survive as a species, because we always felt the danger, trying to avoid meeting with reptiles and predators. Now we are driven by social fear, turning into shame. You probably often look at yourself in the mirror, very critically evaluating your own appearance. A tired look is a trace of the fact that you did not get enough sleep, a big nose - how it stands out strongly, an unevenly traced eyebrow - needs to be corrected.
What do people around see? They do not look for flaws in you, but perceive you as a whole. Here, try it yourself. Will you look for traces of his fatigue, untidiness and other defects in your interlocutor? No. Each person has too much information about himself, which is why we are critical of ourselves. But others do not have this information. They look at us as a whole, evaluating together our appearance, behavior, and manner of speech.
The right question is the key to success
If you are determined to find out the truth about yourself, ask the right questions. They should be such that a person does not feel embarrassed to answer them. Instead of "Do you think I'm incompetent?" What qualities do you value in employees? Instead of: "I guess you don't like me?" - "Did you have bad relationship experience? Think a hundred times before asking questions, it is better, of course, to prepare them in advance so as not to forget in case unrest.
Read between the lines
The point is that you need to pay attention not only to the words of the interlocutor, but also to his facial expressions, gaze and gestures. Pay attention to the look. If a person has a jogger, he may be bored or worried about something of his own. If he looks into your eyes - you are interesting to him, if he literally drills you with his eyes, then maybe he is afraid of you. What about movements? The fussy behavior of a person speaks of his excitement next to you. If at the same time he does not distance himself from you, then the excitement is pleasant, if he tries to stay away - on the contrary.
But keep in mind that a detached look of a person or a look, as it were, “through” you can also say that he learned some unpleasant news the day before. And the fussiness about the fact that a person just has some kind of anxiety disorder.
"Pull - push"
Try to shut up during the conversation, and look at the person's reaction. If he was interested in you, then he himself will take a step forward. If he moves away, then he is not interested in you. Yes, it is unpleasant, but this way you can immediately find out the truth. The same can be done in messengers. Try to be silent for a few days. If a person is interested in you, he will let you know about himself. Just do not need to put a wall between you, be polite and make contact.
Distance
No, you don't need a ruler. Just look at how the interlocutor behaves when he is next to you. If he stands still or tries to move away a little, it means that he is uncomfortable with you. If, on the contrary, he tries to get closer and even touches you, you are interesting to him.
It is also important to rely on your feelings and feelings. Sometimes intuition fails. If you have a feeling that something is wrong, try to figure it out. Perhaps you didn't think so.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/5-prostyh-psihologicheskih-priemov-kotorye-pozvolyat-uznat-chto-dumajut-o-vas-na-samom-dele.html
