My husband is a very good man, a wonderful family man, a loving brother, son, etc. But before he didn’t know how to tell people “no” at all. How much I have already suffered from this, because it is like family affairs, in the main, and they have always concerned me!
And what is interesting is that her husband's colleagues and friends do not use it, which is really a miracle. But the closest and dearest, they just pulled out all the veins. Well, how can you refuse them, they are not strangers after all? You have to give the car - no problem! Nowhere to live - you are welcome! Take someone early in the morning on business - call any time, we are waiting for you and will always help!
I don’t know if they raised my husband like that, but I fought for so long to make him finally realize that he is being blatantly used. And people are not at all ashamed of their behavior, as a boy is driven back and forth, just like that, and no gratitude. Yes, to be honest, I never needed gratitude, I just wanted to be left behind from him and from our family! Thank God, the husband realized that no one appreciated him with his good deeds. Although this happened only at the age of 30, but I am very glad that he understood everything!
I agree that you need to help your loved ones. But you also need to understand when they started using you. And my husband is a very gentle person, and they began to take his kindness for granted. Like it is not he who helps others, but he is obliged to do it! Do you understand the difference? And so his relatives just crossed the line, and my husband did not even notice.
Here is one of such cases, namely one of the last, which opened the eyes of my husband to relatives. We have a car, but surprisingly to others, my husband and I prefer to use it only as a last resort. Basically, we use it to get to the dacha. And so, we can get to work by tram, bus, and we often walk on foot.
My husband has a brother. So he sold his old car, added some more money to the amount and bought a new foreign car. He still planned to move and repairs in a new apartment, and some things needed to be transported. So, he felt very sorry for his own foreign car, so he asked her husband for the keys to our car. The husband could not refuse.
But somehow I had to go by car with my son on business, and that day I took the car. So a relative called me, and did not even ask when I could give him a car, but began yelling that I urgently return the car to him. Naturally, I was shocked by such impudence! So many unpleasant and offensive words poured on me that I did not even expect. Therefore, she did not listen to everything, but sent it to hell and dropped the call. Then my brother also called my spouse, who also refused him. What impudence! I just took my car from the dry-cleaner, I feel sorry for it, but ours can be used for any kind of rough work. Moreover, he presented everything in such a tone, as if it were his property.
Believe it or not, since then we have not heard about my husband's relatives for three months! And now the husband's aunt calls. Her son was going to go to college in our city, they asked to live for a short time, for a week, while the documents were being submitted. We agreed without a second thought! When the aunt's son passed the exams, the woman began to look for housing for him. Immediately she gave up the hostel - it’s not allowed there, it’s dirty, and suddenly the “boy” will fall under the bad influence. And the prices for rented accommodation shocked her completely.
Then, again, in an orderly tone, instructions fell upon us. Like our apartment is big, there is enough space for everyone, and we must let the boy live with us. I was surprised, but my husband refused immediately! He finally understood how everyone was turning them around. Well done! Let the relatives be offended, even if they hate, it is better than using it for their own purposes.
Surprisingly, after two refusals, even the mother-in-law realized that her son was not her property, and he could not just be lured with a finger so that he would come running and do everything she wants.
They say that people don't change, but my husband did it. Although he had to go through a lot of discomfort, but now he really matured and got experience!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/muzh-nauchilsya-govorit-ljudyam-net-i-ya-tak-etomu-rada.html
