It's hard for me to understand and accept. Everyone around you asserts that you need to be kind, open and attentive with people. But what to do if in return they treat you like an empty space? No, I do good for nothing, I, for example, help people not only when they ask
t, but even when I myself see that they need this very help. But how long can you then remain a fool or become the worst person on earth? Where is the justice?
Or maybe, well, this kindness. I have already been burned so many times that I have no strength to help those in need. How many people have enjoyed my decency and sympathy. And I, perhaps, understood this, but continued on my way, believed that it was so necessary that I should. The Bible says that if you hit on one cheek, you must turn the other. And how long will my face be bruised? How long can you tolerate this rudeness?
I was taught from childhood that one cannot respond to evil with evil. That, no matter how bad they do to you, you must answer with goodness. Kindness is able to resolve absolutely any conflict, love will win, but something every time I am convinced of the exact opposite!
Indeed, in fact, if you respond kindly to rudeness and aggression, a person understands this as the fact that you can continue to "kick". You will endure everything, forgive everything, you will understand everything.
Have you heard of the Law of Effect? He says that people try to repeat the type of behavior that helps them to satisfy their needs. Or people avoid any action if they do not lead them to what they want. In other words, if you answer a person to his rudeness and aggression with kindness and love, he understands this as the fact that his unacceptable behavior in you generates love! That is, we ourselves, with our kind behavior against evil, encourage a person to continue to wipe their feet on us!
And then what to do? Fight back? Go out of yourself every time we are "attacked"? I think that you can't behave like that either, it's better to just always remember that you can't be very kind, overly kind with others! I must say, if something does not suit you, it works, really.
Some people who show an excessive amount of kindness are simply trying to avoid conflict. Well, this is understandable, if I am on good terms with a person as a whole, will I immediately “flare up” at his some kind of anger? No. Maybe he was having a bad day, he was pissed off by something else, and I came under the arm, maybe he just has a headache and everything around him is annoying. So I always justify rudeness in my address, and then I suffer. But I don’t want to behave like a pig in return, I can’t and I don’t want to! You just need to somehow learn to stand up for yourself ...
I read a lot of information on this topic, and this is what I found. There are tips that will help you not to admit the boorish behavior of others in relation to yourself.
- If the person's behavior is uncomfortable for you, don't reward them.
- Be honest with people as long as they stay honest with you.
- Learn to fight back and stand your ground.
- Never encourage rudeness directed at you.
- Tell the person if you do not like his rude behavior towards you, do not pretend that everything is in order.
I don't know why there are so many angry people now. How are they offended, what are they annoyed with, how are they oppressed, and how have I deserved such an attitude towards myself? Now everything will be different, I will no longer tolerate rudeness and aggression! I believe I can do it!
All good!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-kogda-delaesh-ljudyam-dobro-oni-otnosyatsya-k-tebe-kak-k-pustomu-mestu.html
