I often touch on the topic of self-esteem. Because no things and cosmetics will not give the same result if self-esteem is at zero. Because in our modern society there are frighteningly many unhappy women who do not love themselves. I believe that in our difficult times one must be a true friend, not an enemy. Help yourself, don't drown yourself.
Do you find your self-esteem adequate? I think that at different periods of her life she can jump a little, there is nothing to worry about. The main thing is not to get carried away, a bias in any direction is bad. Inflated self-esteem, by the way, is sometimes also very destructive for the owner. As it is difficult to accept defeat or someone's superiority, it is easier to imagine that they are lucky. But that's a completely different story... (Kanevsky inside me puffed a pipe and winked).
We have already examined a lot of signs, so let's continue the topic.
Needs approval
A person with low self-esteem needs constant approval from others. Like air. Of course, we all enjoy the approval. But it's one thing to get something pleasant, and another to be in dire need. Do you understand the difference? It is important for a woman (and a man) with low self-esteem to be perceived positively.
We all flourish with praise. It cheers up a lot. Inspires. Increases self-confidence. However, the stability of our emotional state should not depend on praise. Praise itself should not be the goal. For many, it's like a sugar needle. Painful addiction.
You need to understand that the value is not someone else's approval of you or your actions. And your own feelings and desires. Praise yourself and go!
Wants to be good for everyone
And here is my sore one. The need to be good for someone is so common that you can easily name more than one such acquaintance. I often come across her, fortunately not personally.
The roots of this problem often go back to childhood. There is such a joke: "Thanks to my parents that I now have so many reasons to go to a psychologist."
Being good as a child is good. You will be praised for the A. The teacher will treat you better than the poor student Kolka, whom he will scold and shame. Parents will buy delicious ice cream for cleaning your own room. So many rewards!
But when we grow up, the picture changes. Other people love to use good guys. We are embarrassed to refuse a colleague, each time taking her job on ourselves. But the relationship remains good. We are silent when an older relative bales us, violating all boundaries. We nod and agree...
Be a good girl. What for? It is much more interesting to be bad (are you a psychologist?).
Why be good for such a colleague? Isn't there a lot of honor for her? You may be afraid of conflict. But know that if you immediately refuse in a firm form, it will be perceived as normal.
Apologizes a lot
Try to remember now, how often do you apologize? For being late, not having dinner, any awkwardness, a mess in the house... There are several reasons for endless apologies, and one of them is low self-esteem.
And the most interesting thing is that at this moment you are very ashamed, you are covered with a feeling of guilt, sometimes even a feeling of inferiority. It’s a shame in front of your friend or mother-in-law that you didn’t have time to make your bed before work, and now you are “caught red-handed”. Do you feel like a bad hostess right away? Or maybe your wife right away? Relax, I ask you. We are all entitled to an unmade bed. Unwashed dishes.
Get rid of the habit of apologizing for everything and making excuses. You are not a weak link! You haven't done anything wrong.
Thank you for your attention, I am very pleased with it. Like, if you are interested in topics about self-esteem, subscribe, we have a lot of interesting things ahead. Your Katya.
