For some reason, many parents are sure that if they gave birth to children, fed them, dressed and put on shoes, gave an education, provided everything, then the children are obliged to them for this. But is it really so? The life of people has changed a lot, and with it the family foundations have changed. But even now, many people are so afraid to say no to their parents, and easily sacrifice their affairs and interests, just to please their ancestors. And in the end, they live a completely different life, feeling obligated.
Let's figure out where this fine line of helping parents out of gratitude and self-sacrifice is.
Parents manipulators love to pronounce abstruse, and very hurting phrases for children, such as: “I gave birth to you, you owe me to help!" or “I wore you for 9 months under my heart, I didn’t sleep with you screaming at night, and you’re so ungrateful increased!". All these are simple everyday things that every woman who has given birth to a baby does. But the child did not ask to be given birth, it was the decision of the parents! And, as soon as mom, well, or dad starts to say something like that, the child's love for his parents will gradually fade away.
Many people pin their expectations and hopes on children, but their birth cannot be the guarantor of your happy old age. Nobody owes you, parents, anything! But there are families in which parents simply love their children, give their care and love, do not ask for anything in return, and receive gratitude in old age.
Meanwhile, it is worth understanding that children already give us a lot. They give us their love, their adoring look, hugs, kisses, first words, crafts, poems, etc. And many parents are sure that you just need to satisfy the simple needs of the child, and as a result, it is not surprising at all that the grown-up baby then does not feel affection for his mother and father. There is absolutely no desire to help your elderly parents.
Very often, children and parents do not become close relatives. Very often, due to their own behavior and due to the fact that adults misunderstand their parenting, an unexpected surprise comes to them in old age in the form of indifference of offspring. And some parents are prone to criticism, which sounds even more painful than from strangers. When children are faced with a lack of support, misunderstanding, condemnation, this further aggravates the situation.
Therefore, despite the fact that some people try, no matter what happens, to honor their parents, you need to take a sober view of things. If children are faced with neglect from their parents, then their close relationship with them instantly collapses. And do not think that if a child has not been supported since childhood, then something may change later. And then the offspring has the right not to help the parents!
If the parents gave all their love, warmth, care, while the grown-up child will not feel obligated to something to their ancestors, then a natural manifestation of warmth and care will come from him.
It is only important to feel this fine line. The best thing that parents can give their children is freedom and the opportunity to live their own lives. You should not expect anything from children, you should not impose duties on them, beg for gratitude, shame for the fact that they do not come, do not call, do not pay. There is no need to impose your opinion, then children will become the very people who have a sense of responsibility and gratitude.
Remember, children copy the behavior of adults. Therefore, when you need help, look at your grown children and you will see your reflection!
Do you think children owe anything to their parents?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/razve-podrosshij-rebenok-chem-to-obyazan-svoim-roditelyam.html
