Actress Hilary Duff explained why she gave birth in the presence of a 9-year-old son

 Hollywood actress and singer Hilary Duff at the end of March became a mother for the third time. She gave birth to a baby, whom she named May. The star reported about this wonderful event only now, almost months after giving birth. It would have gone unnoticed by a wider audience if it hadn't been for a few interesting details. Hilary gave birth at home, in an inflatable pool, in the presence of her husband and her two children - 9-year-old Luke and 2-year-old Banks.

According to the celebrity, she wanted her son to attend the birth for two reasons.

“It was very important for me to have Luka by my side during the birth. I wanted to be open and honest with him about how strong women are and what childbirth looks like. However, in the end, everything happened so quickly that Luka entered the room when May was already born, "

- said the singer.

Hilary also wanted her son, thanks to such experience, to respect the right to choose his future chosen one - give birth at home or in the hospital. The singer did not comment on the presence of her 2-year-old daughter at childbirth.

Tamara Zeynali, family psychologist and doula, does not give an unambiguous answer whether the presence of children at birth is good or bad. But one thing is for sure - in order for it to be safe for the child's psyche, many factors must be taken into account, the expert is sure.

1. Child's age

Up to three years old, a child can be on childbirth. «It is important to cook it, talk a lot. Children of this age are not ready to accept the painful sensations that the mother is experiencing. For them, this is a game, magic. They switch very quickly when the baby appears and rejoice", - explains Tamara Zeynali. And as a confirmation of these words, he gives the following example.

«As a doula, I attended the birth of a 2-year-old girl. They took her with them, because there was no one to leave with. It was planned that I would be with my mother, and she would play with my father outside the walls of the birthplace. But it so happened that the girl fell asleep, and we left her asleep in the delivery room. The delivery room was of a family type and worked under the Home Childbirth program under the protection of a maternity hospital, so it looked more like a hotel room than an ordinary delivery room. When the baby woke up, she wanted to stay with her mother. During childbirth, she behaved very calmly. Fortunately, there were no force majeure events. But if they were, at any moment the girl could be taken out of the delivery room. When the baby was born, she was very happy. She came up to him and offered her pacifier", - says the expert.

Another thing is the age from 3 to 14 years old. After three years, children develop emotional intellect. "They are very impressionable, they have developed empathy at a high level, immaturity of the psyche. In addition, children of this age, experiencing stress, often cannot figure out that they can get out.", - explains Tamara Zeynali.

Doula told how, quite by accident, her 11-year-old daughter witnessed the birth and what a shock it was for her.

«The woman I was supposed to accompany in childbirth began to have labor pains. She called me and told me about it. I advised her to get ready to go to the hospital. And she herself got into the car with her daughter to take her to her mother, and then join them. But after 10 minutes it became clear that I had to rush to the woman, as her water broke and she began to grieve. The maternity hospital was very far away, and I urgently needed to pick her up and take her there. When I went into the apartment with my daughter, I saw her at the door, standing on all fours. In her arms she was holding a newly born child. After what he saw, my daughter was in a stupor for some time, and this despite the fact that she is well acquainted with the topic of childbirth, was often present at my lectures, almost from birth, we talk a lot about this topic. When we arrived home, she asked: “Mom, don't take me to your work anymore.».

Childbirth is a shock, despite the fact that, as a rule, it ends with a happy end. And only after 14 years, the child is able to understand whether he is ready for this stress or not, the expert believes.

«If your child after the age of 14 himself says that he wants to be in childbirth, if the mother is not against it, then this option can be considered. At the same time, it is important to prepare it as informationally as possible: show the video, explain everything", - says Tamara Zeynali.

2. Why is the child present at childbirth

It's one thing if a woman takes a child with her to childbirth because she has no one to leave him with. Another - if it pursues certain goals. For example, does not want to the elder was jealous of the younger. Or, like Hilary Duff, she wants to show her son the feminine power.

In the first case, the presence of a child during childbirth can become a deterrent for a woman. «Michel Auden spoke about this. He had a lot of examples when he opened house wards and women took their children with them. He saw that labor slowed down in their presence. As soon as the children left, the process accelerated, and the women gave birth quickly.", - says Tamara Zeynali. If a woman, like Hilary Duff, deliberately takes a child for childbirth, in pursuit of certain goals, this will not become a deterrent for her, the expert said.

3. Family traditions

In some families, for example, nudists, it is not unusual for children to see their parents naked. In others, my mother never walks around the apartment in her underwear. «And for such children, seeing their mother naked can be a shock. This point also needs to be taken into account when deciding whether to take a baby for childbirth or not.", - considers Tamara Zeynali.

4. Character of the child

We are all different. Some have thin skin, some thicker. «If your child is vulnerable, anxious, highly sensitive, childbirth can traumatize him, - comments Tamara Zeynali. - In addition, childbirth is a process that requires hyper-quietness, calmness. If a child present at childbirth begins to worry, cry, the mother will involuntarily read this state and mirror it».

Summary

«The presence of a child during childbirth is definitely not for everyone. But if he wants to be on them, if mom wants to, then this option can be considered. It is only important to prepare the child. Plus, everything should be organized, from the point of view of safety for the life of the mother and the newborn, at the highest level. When we take a baby with us to childbirth, this question is a double responsibility.", - sums up Tamara Zeynali.

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