This article will focus on the most poisonous and dangerous granny concentrates. I do not argue that there are very kind, caring and do not spoil our children. But those of whom we are talking today, although they are not so often met in their pure form, are capable of producing specific reactions that wash away their parents with a blast wave! Even if they are "locked" in their apartments, they manage to spread their negative influence over the phone, Skype or through a husband / wife. If you hear from the other half the phrase: "And my mother says that ...", that's it, end, immediately hold the defense.
Of course, I'm joking here about our parents, but still a similar trend exists: more and more couples are eager to choose nannies, absolutely strangers, instead of giving their offspring to beloved ones for the partial upbringing of their offspring grandmothers. Although sociologists say that there is intergenerational disagreement between parents and grandparents, it is perfectly understandable that we just got the wrong grandmothers.
Here are the types of grandmothers who spoil our children, as well as ways to deal with them.
Grandma with a pie
This is the same grandmother, because of whom your Tolik has aggravated allergies, abdominal pain and hamster cheeks. Despite the fact that the parents, leaving the child with her, strictly forbid overfeeding the child, giving him sausages and sweets, the granny will nod approvingly, but she will feed the way she wants. This grandmother is able to set a table for 50 people for a wedding table in 20 minutes, but you will have to eat all this, because you came to visit inappropriately. For this grandmother, a sausage wrapped in a pancake is already just a pancake, and jam is no longer sugar, but a continuous benefit.
It's hard to fight this grandmother. Instead of visiting her, invite her to your place, take her to exhibitions and museums, and supply a meager lunch box with fruits and vegetables for a walk with your grandson.
Granny with tv
If your five-year-old child is aware of all the news in the country, and with enthusiasm talks about incidents in the West, it immediately becomes clear that he spent his day off with his grandmother in front of the TV. You can do your best for your child to learn Pushkin's poems, but all the same, in the presence of guests, it will broadcast about who had a fight in the program "Let them talk" and who was the main character of the program "Male / Female". Your mother, of course, will say that no one intentionally watches her TV, and she doesn't want anything bad either. She just wants her home to be lively and fun, and so that the granddaughter does not get bored, but the fact remains that the baby absorbs from the TV what he does not need to know at all.
As for the fight against such a grandmother, if she has a TV in the background, as she says, you can advise her to turn on channels about nature or travel. Or you can even put your grandmother on some useful series so that she can then discuss the series with her granddaughter.
Grandmother with unconventional views on health
Rubbing with vinegar, two layers of woolen socks, semolina instead of a mixture, wrapping at a temperature. Well, we were raised that way, and it helped, no one died! It's just that we now have completely different views on treatment, nutrition and education in general, who knows, maybe in 20 years, people will again choose semolina, not a mixture, and be treated with mummy with soda.
Such a grandmother, naturally, sincerely wants good for her grandchildren, wants to be needed and useful. Then try to help her be really needed. Tell us about the values of hardening and the wonders of membrane clothing. You can give granny an important assignment, for example, take your grandson to the pool or for a massage.
Granny slapped
You can understand that you cannot beat children, and in no case should you use assault for educational purposes. But for some reason your mom still doesn't see anything wrong with spanking on the bottom, hands and head. She wants to raise an obedient child, “he doesn't understand otherwise,” “nothing will happen to him,” “we need to prepare him for the complexities of life ", etc. And sometimes the child does not understand what happened to him until the mother makes a verdict: he has a psychological injury.
How to deal with such a grandmother? It is useless to make a drama in front of a child. It is better to talk to her in private, and explain that she should not be raising a child, this is only your mission. You can, of course, cite as an example the advice of psychologists who talk about the harm to the psyche from physical violence. But more often than not all this does not help, because "no violence, I just slapped him lightly." Then only strictly forbid the grandmother to touch her grandson at all.
Granny with an iron hand
This is the kind of grandmother who, despite the fact that you already have three children of her own, considers you a child. And she tries to teach you correctness right in front of your offspring. And you did the repairs wrong, and your granddaughter's clothes are kind of girly, and in general you need to stop hunching over and walk in heels more often. In general, no matter how successful a lady you are, with your baggage of experience and knowledge, you will always be a baby doll for her, walking under the table. And only her opinion will be correct. And you are uncomfortable in front of your children, you must be an authority for them.
And here you only have to grow up, develop an imperious tone, rehearse reassuring statements that can put your grandmother in her place.
Granny with surprise
A grandmother with a “wrong” gift can keep inexperienced moms and dads on their toes. A kitten - an allergic child, a visit at 1 am in a Halloween costume to a baby who is being treated for stuttering, etc. And you live in peace, and then, bam, and an animator came to you in a cake, and his grandmother paid him for a two-day stay, and then he plays the harmonica in your kitchen for two day. There are many examples, and it is useless to fight with such a grandmother, she is from a pure heart!
Do not be offended by the grandmother with the "wrong" gift, this is stupid. You just have to accept it and put up with it. Well, granny gives you some sliders for a five-year plan, accept, thank with a smile, and then just “lose” somewhere. A kitten can also be accepted, and then also "lost" by giving it to good hands. Otherwise, you will not do anything, swearing is also useless!
Generational disagreements are normal, but grandparents are essential elements in the picture of every child's life. So try to improve relations in the family, but if you are just bombed, drink sedatives before your parents come. But do not even try to deprive the child of grandparents!
What kind of grandmothers do your children have?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/6-tipov-babushek-kotorye-otricatelno-vliyajut-na-nashih-detej-kak-s-nimi-borotsya.html
