Everyone knows about the principles of upbringing, but, as it comes to raising their own children, for some reason nothing can be applied. The result is that ungrateful children and selfish people grow up in some families.
Psychologists identify two main reasons why this happens:
The first reason is the lack of strictness of the parents. This is in those families where parents allow their child too much, fulfill his every whim. As a result, the child grows up ungrateful, spoiled and arrogant. It is clear that you want to pamper your child, especially when childhood itself was hungry, but more often this is why children in the future begin to treat their parents as a consumer.
The second reason is authoritarian methods of education. The exact opposite of the first reason. In such families, children lack attention, tenderness, care, motherly warmth. Excessive requirements are imposed on the child, and for any offenses he is punished. As a result, the child lives in constant fear of stumbling, making a mistake, and gradually moves away from his parents. And there can be no question of any feeling of gratitude to the parents!
Unfortunately, sometimes it is difficult to establish the reason for the ingratitude of children, and it is also very difficult to maintain a balance while raising a child in tenderness, but not becoming a parent, who is considered a consumer, showing severity, but not becoming a tyrant.
Sometimes the same conditions of upbringing can give completely different results. I offer you three situations for example, where you can identify the reasons for the formation of ingratitude in children in relation to their parents.
Situation one
The family has many children. Dad is very strict, he can even hit him with a belt, he works a lot. Mom also works a lot, the main thing is that the children are neatly dressed and fed. Children lack the tenderness and care of their parents, they are left to themselves. Growing up, they thank their parents for everything they have done. They come to visit them, but not often. In general, they do not forget their old people, they will never be abandoned and they will not be abandoned, there is even no need to worry about any nursing home!
Situation two
The family has two sons. They are brought up in severity and rigidity. Parents are sure that you should not lisp with the boys. They are punished for any wrongdoing. Despite this, children do not feel anger and resentment towards their parents, believing that they are doing everything right.
Having matured, the sons leave, they come to their parents reluctantly, the parental home does not cause warm feelings and attraction in either. Parents are constantly alone, feel forgotten and abandoned, reproach children for ingratitude.
Situation three
The family has one son, all parental love has always gone to him alone. The parents were not strict, but they conducted educational discussions for offenses. They did not spoil, whenever possible they bought the most necessary things and talked about how difficult it is for a person to be given money. The child was taught to do household chores and help elders. The boy himself chose the circles and sections where he wants to study, his parents gave him independence in this, although sometimes the choice of his son was far from their desires. The guy also chose where to study after school, his parents did not like his choice, but they did not impose their opinion.
Having matured, the son calls his mother every day, always helps his father, and on any weekend he tries to escape to his parents, arriving for a long time and with gifts.
As it became clear, the formation of a sense of gratitude is influenced not only by the style of parenting. It is important to respect your children, as well as their desires, interests and aspirations. The child will grow up grateful if the parents allow him to achieve his own goals.
What is your relationship with your parents or grown-up children? How were you raised and are you a grateful child? What can you say about your own children, have they grown grateful to you?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/otkuda-berutsya-neblagodarnye-deti-primery-iz-zhizni.html
