How to properly criticize and limit the child so as not to humiliate him and at the same time achieve his goal?
Parents need to treat children with a share of condescension, their task is to become an example and to convey to the next generation your knowledge, skills and wisdom, and not just ban, punish and limit. It is always worth remembering that undesirable behavior of a child is not always a matter of "harm", sometimes a child really does not understand the consequences of his actions and sees no reason to behave differently.
The knowledge of how to act and how not - does not appear on its own. They are vaccinated by their parents gradually - and not the first time. This also applies to the rules for communicating with other people - parents' friends, relatives, etc. Is the same a request to play on their own when parents need to talk to someone is not perceived by the child from the first times.
What is the right way to make a child a remark so that he obeys and does not do it in spite of?
1. Explain that being polite is necessary for your good mood.
Behaving well and politely, obeying the parents is necessary not so much to please them or another interlocutor, but because the child himself will be better off. It is nice and right to be benevolent, to adhere to the morality of the family is right, even if your interlocutor did not appreciate it.
2. Always be on the side of the child
Even if the child's behavior is uncomfortable, you must consider his interests and needs, and not just force him to comply with your requirements. If you start to apologize for the child's behavior and dissociate yourself from him, then the child realizes his uselessness and insignificance for the parents.
If a child's behavior interferes with you or those around him, this does not mean that he is bad and he needs to be cheated and scolded in public in order to prove himself a strict and fair parent. The child checks the reaction of the environment to his behavior, he experiments and explores the world, this is normal and much better than that he was sitting closed, unsociable and inactive. Children need to give feedback on their behavior on a daily basis, but do not go over to screaming and threats, but gently teach the rules of behavior.
3. Do not discount the child's desire to participate in adult affairs
Of course, when a child interferes with an adult conversation, it is inconvenient. But simply to "throw" him out of this activity, to silence him and move away is wrong. Yes, he is small, but he wants to be big, wants to help, wants to understand what is important to you and what you are discussing at the moment.
Imagine that you are a mentor who has to train a colleague who just got a job. You will not tell him that his questions are stupid, or send him “do not bother, adults are talking,” laugh at his actions, sneak his words with nonsense, etc.? You must become his ally and help him figure it out.
You will also be interested to read:
- 4 golden rules: teaching your child not to interrupt
- How to teach a child to keep secrets
- How to teach a child to argue and defend an opinion correctly
