Parents taught us from childhood to be kind, courteous, polite. All this helps to find friends, like-minded people, to form a positive opinion about yourself from others. Unfortunately, our world is not perfect. Of course, if everyone around were kind, it would be good. However, there is a lot of negativity, toxic people around, so the normal for their good deeds does not always receive a pleasant reward. There is even a saying: "Do not do good, you will not get evil!"
You cannot be an overly kind person, otherwise it will end badly. Why? There are negative consequences for your kindness.
They start to use you
Yes, you have to be nice, but you can't always be very kind. This is especially true of the competitive environment when you need to fight for the championship. Because of your kindness, in order to get ahead, you can begin to be manipulated. Do not let yourself be used, act according to the situation.
Violate your personality boundaries
If you are too kind a person, you cannot argue with others. This is viewed by others as your permission to step over you, to violate your personal boundaries. Try to stop this right away in order to notice the manipulation of people in time.
You are treated with indifference
Some people do not care about other people's feelings at all, they show selfishness, even sometimes without realizing it themselves. It is important to state your needs and be persistent. Yes, you don't want to look rude and mean, but don't let yourself be treated badly.
You stop taking care of yourself
Kind people invest too much care and energy in others, practically forgetting about themselves. It is worth understanding that not absolutely everyone deserves your kindness, and the most important person who needs it is you.
They stop trusting you
Often the kindness of people causes some suspicion in others. So don't go overboard if you want to be trusted.
You waste yourself on the wrong ones
It is good when a kind person is surrounded by the same kind kind people. But it happens that "good people" waste their energy on people who do not deserve their attention at all.
You get no good in return
Imagine you helped a person get out of trouble, but when problems touched you, you did not receive help in return. Will this upset you? Therefore, before you show your kindness, make sure that your actions do not devastate you.
You start to constantly apologize.
Too kind people find it very difficult to see when someone is suffering. If someone is bad, they begin to feel guilty, and apologize for not having to. Don't apologize if it's not your fault. Each person is responsible for his own actions, therefore, for other people's words and mistakes, never say “sorry”.
Are you afraid to say no
Being a kind person is a big responsibility. After all, as soon as a "good man" says "no", he immediately sees sadness in the eyes of people, he feels sorry for them. Stop thinking about it, and no need to make excuses. Learn to say the word "no", respect yourself first.
You're too accessible to toxic people
You are so easy to manipulate, and you fall under the influence of toxic people so quickly. Be careful, your kindness can play a very cruel joke on you.
Being a kind person is an amazing and wonderful quality. But it is impossible to be kind always and excessively, because people can begin to use it. Live for yourself first. Why are you kind to others, but forget about yourself? This is fundamentally wrong! Become a little selfish, but don't stop being kind. Look for balance!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/10-negativnyh-posledstvij-chrezmernoj-dobroty.html