Family relationships - a process sensitive enough to interfere with that psychologists do not advise anyone.
But what if interference occurs on a regular basis, and as a result of cases of serious conflicts and scandals? And because of the enemy's not so easy to take and "not to destroy," because it's - mother of your husband.
"When I first met her future husband, I am very like his mother. She was friendly and caring. Well, I guess I was lucky with my husband: and his own apartment there (no need to go into loans to buy it), and my mother - just gold. In any case, help with the baby, "- says Violetta, which has three years of marriage. But all her hopes were dashed in-law turned to the warden, who always dissatisfied with everything. And knowing that the daughter is pregnant, the number of conflicts will only increase.
Psychologist Council.Mom is very difficult to let go of his son and give it to some unknown woman. And it is necessary to understand the young wife. Jealousy does not provide in-law quietly enjoy life young. The way out of this impasse can only establish relations with her mother in law. After all, it (especially if the family lives together) will become the chief assistant in child care. And begin the process of building normal relations need it... daughter. In-law is jealous of her husband to you? Ask him to devote more time and attention to my mother to please her surprises. A daughter, especially if it is in an interesting position, it is better calm down and do not take all the statements in-law as a call to battle! Greater neutrality in relationships will save the family from the conflict.
"Mom husband does not live with us. But she did have a "get" his homilies on any occasion, since the kind of stroller I choose and ending with what vitamins to take, because, you see, she had seen advertisements for TV. And recently, all I struck on the spot: said that after giving birth is going to move to us ", - complains Irina.
Psychologist Council.In this situation the daughter can only envy: her husband's mother shows such zeal and participate in the family, it would be of benefit to all. BUT! Only under conditions of high diplomacy daughter. It expectant mother should learn to direct the zeal in-law in the right direction for a young family. For example, mother-knows exactly what should be a bed for crumbs? "Okay" - agree with her, while noticing that the bed - it is certainly an important point, but it can choose the best for baby bedding? After all, she just luxurious taste. A crib let men do. As you can see, any situation can be turned so that the in-law has been in business, and you are calm. Most importantly - do not cut a temper, refusing to help. Because after delivery extra hand you will come in handy.
"I have no mother in law, but a real monster! She do not need a husband nor a future grandchild. As she recently said it is high time to live for yourself! - says Elena, with indignation. - But who's going to help us? "
Psychologist Council. Position Elena is very similar to the child's position, which no one wants to help. Whereas formed a family, waiting for a child - it is an occasion to, to live independently, without relying on anyone. If you need help in child care, it is better to calculate in advance the options, not taking into account the presence of her mother in law. Maybe it will be a girlfriend or you hire a babysitter? In any case, it is time to leave infantilism.
- Stop accept any word-in-law as an insult or an attempt to break up your family.
- Be forgiving of her husband's mother. It's enough to imagine that your son (you, for example, waiting) brought home someone else's woman, and you have no place even in your own kitchen. Nicely?
- We each have our own oddities. Accept the features in-law, her unusual habits. Be tolerant.
