Many of us have grievances that have accumulated over the years and come from childhood. Children's resentment toward their parents - some of the most severe trauma that poison life and over the years will not disappear, on the contrary, become more toxic. How to forget the children's resentment and forgive parents
Each of us has a story of childhood and relationships with parents. Psychologists are fairly common problems that extend into adulthood because of injuries inflicted by their parents in childhood. For many of these children's grievances become a real problem as adults, poisoning life, prevent a person to be happy, prevent build personal life and childhood remembered with pain and tears.
The causes of childhood injuries
Everyone has their own reasons to resent the parents, most often it is abuse, physical punishment, nedolyublennosti, stiffness education, misunderstanding, criticism, total control, rude insulting phrases are made to feel worthless and full inept. Or vice versa - and overprotection "zalyublennost" permissiveness, complete freedom of action bordering on indifference.
Feeling hurt a child, every time we would make a promise never do come with their children. However, growing up, we repeat the actions of parents and behave have towards their children exactly what to do with us.
How to break this vicious circle? How to get rid of toxic insults to the lives of parents? For many this is a very sensitive issue.
Do not try to change the parents, change yourself
Of course, it would be great to have parents, to be kind, loving, caring and understanding always and in every situation. But this is the ideal case, which can be seen very rarely, because mom and dad - are ordinary people with their problems, fears, complexes, stereotypes. Before you accuse them of injustice and cruelty try to look at them from the side, not as a mom and dad as well as ordinary people. Who also had children who were also parents who have had too childhood.
The theme of today's discussion remarkably suitable phrase Antoine de Saint-Exupery "We all come from childhood." It is very meaningful. All that is laid in childhood stays with us for life. Few people remember another phrase Exupery: "All adults were once children, only a few of them remember it '...
To solve your problem of children's injuries, it is important to learn as much about your childhood your parents can. Imagine your parents and children to draw a picture of their childhood. So you can begin to understand, in the framework of what behaviors they grow and develop, which instilled in them in their childhood parents, in a family atmosphere they grew up, so it will be clear why they treat you well, not otherwise. If they are not taught to love as a child, if their childhood was difficult, they can teach you to love.
Do not try to change the parents. If you want to get rid of hard feelings, change your attitude towards the situation. By learning empathy, you look at their parents in a new light, learn to forgive, understand and love. Love and forgiveness dissolved offense. And if you always remember the bad in your past - make your life miserable.
Exercise forgiveness parents
The well-known American psychologist, creator of positive affirmations Louise Hay I have developed an amazing exercise forgiveness parents. For many, it will seem very difficult exercise and is doing it will not work without tears. Let the tears flow - so you'll release their negative emotions
Exercise "mental representation"
«Imagine yourself a young child (5-6 years). Look deep into the eyes of this child. Try to see the deep longing and understand that this longing for the love of you. Stretch arms and hug this little child, hold it to his chest. Tell him how much you love him. Say that you admire his mind, and if he makes mistakes, it's nothing, all of them do. Promise him that you will always come to his aid, if necessary. Now, let the child will become very small, the size of a pea. Put it to his heart. Let it settle there. When you look down, you'll see his little face and be able to give him all your so important for him, love.
Now imagine your mother when she was between the ages of 4-5 years old, frightened and hungry for love. Pull it and their hands and tell me how you love her. Tell her that she can count on you, no matter what. When she calmed down and feel safe, put it into his heart.
Now imagine his father little boy 3-4 years, it is also something very afraid and loudly, crying inconsolably. You will see the tears rolling down his hail face. You now know how to calm small children. Press it against his chest and feel his trembling body. Reassure him. Let him feel your love. Tell him that you will always be with him. When his tears dry, let it be also quite tiny, put it into his heart with you and your mother.
I love them all, because there is nothing more sacred than the love of little children. In your heart of love is sufficient to cure the entire planet. But let's first cure themselves. Feel the heat, poured into your body, softness and tenderness. Let this feeling of expensive start to change your life».
If you just want the parents to let children's resentment, freed from the burden of negativity, which poisons your life, repeat this exercise every day.
You will be interested to know, why we overtighten the others' troubles and problems
