Just does not work. And whether it is necessary to forgive all: Psychologist

Kolobok. UA with a psychologist, an expert "Stosuєtsya skin" (channel "Inter") and YouTube-blogger lily King figured out what the word means - "to forgive."

To forgive means to cancel some or guilt, punishment, pardon. And if before the person is the question of forgiveness - then there is resentment.

Resentment - a mixture of anger toward the abuser and self-pity for the distress caused by unfair. That is, the offended person does not let a grudge because waiting for compensation, just punishment, asking for forgiveness, confession of guilt, etc.

If man stands in front of the question - "how to forgive?" - which means that it is impossible to forgive, it does not have sufficient resources or the reasons for such forgiveness (ie, remission of guilt).

Therefore, I consider it necessary to begin to understand: whether it is necessary to forgive all? Often to my advice coming wounded souls. These are people who have undergone as a child's emotional, physical, sexual,

violence and ill-treatment by their parents, sometimes it's the wife who suffered from the sadistic husband. Psychologists often offer to forgive their abusers, it's parents, husband, brother... In this case, the man explained that it is important for effective therapy. But it is also a crime! Agree, no one in the court, the police and the prosecutor's office did not come to mind to forgive the offender. Then why did the unfortunate victims to forgive perpetrators solely on the grounds that it is a parent or a husband? Therefore, it is important to put an end to this place: the crime can not be forgiven. And it is right.

Now what about the soul? How to deal with feelings of anger and self-pity (constituting the offense)? Forgiveness is perceived as a mercy to the offender and releasing guilt. But there is a downside - why not let go of your anger, sadness, regret and pity. And the main thing for us is this second aspect. After all these feelings send life interfere enjoy pulling into a depression. It is therefore important not even to forgive and let go - to purify his soul on the severity of injuries.

How do you do it? To name these feelings. Begin to talk about them. Splash out anger, do not be afraid of it, you have a right to it! You are entitled to all the senses. Install a punching bag and how to vyplesnite that boiling. Buy cheap plates and break them. Tear the paper, paint, run, dance aggressively. Visualize that your abuser in front of you, and tell him everything. Do this as many times as necessary.

Remember: you do not need to suppress and drown yourself. You have every right to their feelings.

Anger - is a very strong emotion. And it is very important to throw out to the outside world. Otherwise, it will go inward on itself. Anger - this is serious. It is a powerful energy. And it should be paid to the addressee.

When anger is gone - mourn your offense. Do not be afraid to feel sorry for himself, sympathize, console yourself as a small child. You have suffered, you have wronged, you need sympathy and consolation. This will help. After all, unlived and untempered grief can cause severe depression. And we do not need. If you can not forgive, we have to live and let go. Not for the offender, for yourself! Love yourself! And remember to follow the mental health of not less important than to monitor the health of the body. Be healthy and happy!

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