The husband is jealous of the child: what to do

If you wonder why the husband is jealous of to kidWe find ourselves in the need to understand the concepts of: what is jealousy? What role in the couple's relationship was to have a baby? Let's look together with a psychologist, blogger and TV expert Lily King all on the shelves.

Jealousy - a feeling of distrust, doubt, love and fidelity. Jealousy often arises when there is a risk of losing a partner, if it is carried away by another woman (man) - when a third party relationships. But what if there is no opponent?

A frequent request of customers is that when a child appears - man jealous of the baby... It turns out that the opponent - the kid?

But who can compete with the child? The answer is simple - only a child! Adult man compete with a child, jealous and make a scene of jealousy will not. After all, he knows how important a mother and child contact in the first half - year of life. In psychology, this period is called "fusion", and it's completely natural and normal - to give the baby the most of my mother's love and attention.

So it develops a sense of security, trust and affection, which then affect the nature and success of the child's privacy.

Who understand this can not be? Selfish - you might say! The child - says the psychologist. After all, small children is very difficult to experience the birth of a brother or sister. He needs a mother entirely. And he will win it, to compete, because it's small, selfish, and he still does not understand. And there seems to be an adult man, the head of the family, new father! And here and there. If competes with the kid - he in the shower is small and it took the "mother" ...

Here we are about the roles of partners in a relationship. And at the same time learn how to avoid these partners in life. It is particularly important to identify how the roles were originally, before the advent of the child.

After all, if a man for some reason nedolyublen his mother, he may unconsciously seek psychological "mom."

That is, the woman chose to marry, psychologically it takes care, comforts, resolves all issues, makes decisions. And the appearance of the baby by itself pulls her attention to the child. A man feels abandoned, rejected, unhappy, "the little boy who threw the mother"... This is the origin of his "jealousy". After all, jealousy stems from the desire to possess.

What to do? Firstly, it is not necessary to build a relationship in which you "mom" for your man. And you will avoid such a situation. And secondly, if it has already happened - your man is a long-term psychotherapy. Another way to "grow" psychologically, for example, on their own, in this case it is impossible, as is required "parent figure" which will finish what my mother was not completed. You see? It can be really output, because my mother would play the role of an experienced, professional psychologist, who knows what to do, not you. And you, in turn, will become his wife, not his mother. And all will fall into place.

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