7 of fears that lower the self-esteem of parents: how to understand that you are right

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Modern parents are very difficult, it is necessary to combine parenting, work, self-development, not to forget about their own interests and at the same time be "ideal". Ideal parents look at us with shop windows, with books on child psychology, with social networks. But is it all really and what parental fears completely useless?

"Bad mother" - is the bane of modern society. Sometimes in the fight for the title of the ideal mother, women lose the "I" dissolves in the child's needs in its development, education, education. And despite all this, most parents will question, answering the question: "Am I a good parent?". And in vain!

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"I do not buy expensive toys." Many parents often feel remorse from what can not buy your child the best clothes, expensive toys. But in fact, this child does not need. Parental love should not be expressed in numbers and the next most expensive toys for the child is more important than the time spent with you, common interests and experiences. In addition, a child who has too many toys, scatters your attention and can not focus on any of them, respectively, can not play by yourself.

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"I'm too strict mother / strict father." The modern world dictates a very different education rules, Now the child is not made to punish, he must explain everything and tell. Sometimes, disruption, parents feel a deep sense of guilt. But it is important to understand that permissiveness and lack of boundaries in a child lead to the opposite effect - the child is out of control, as he can not cope. Good parents are raising a child, based on their authority, they establish clear rules which strictly follow.

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"I do not do a kid." The market is replete with a variety of pre-school education centers, schools and razvivashkami in which your baby is literally a half a year will be taught in English, reading, logic, dance, music and other sciences. Some parents, realizing their own ambitions, so overload your child with additional classes that simply bring it to neuroses. Development - is not only clubs and developing the school schedule, it's a happy childhood - filled games in a fun, fantasy, joint trips and creativity.

"I'm a bad mother." From the pages in Instagram look at us a lot of the "ideal" mothers: they get enough sleep, have time for breakfast cook fresh rolls and homemade jams, they are obedient children, the perfect order in the house, the dog, Job... A world that is very different from yours, fatigue, irritation on the baby with the dirty dishes scattered toys, and lots of laundry. All these comparisons to drive you into depression and feeling of imperfection. But be aware, it is a utopia, it happens only on the smartphone screen, the pictures in the magazine, but not in real life. In reality, all tired, sometimes yelling at children, the food at the Pasta dinner with cheese and leg raked scattered toys, and from this you will not be a bad mother to her child. For your child, you - the perfect mother.

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"I yell at the child." Parents - not robots, and ordinary people who sometimes difficult day, fatigue, stress, so sometimes you can yell at a child or even a slap on the ass. If you understand that it will not bring absolutely no effect, and make the child's behavior only worse, but also undermine your credibility in his eyes, calm down and think about what you have Problems. If you are angry at the child, having a baby negative emotions - a problem most often somewhere inside you, and you just pluck the baby. If you do not handle yourself, consult a psychologist, he is more quickly and effectively to help cope with the situation.

"I'm not interested in playing with the baby." It is believed that all of your time should be given to your child, you need to play them all the time, build castles and sculpting mud pies, play dolls, paint, sculpt, glue, and if you're distracted, to drink coffee or simply do not want to do anything right now - then you automatically bad mother. This is not the case, you do not have to play with the baby all the time, it is more important to be able to teach a child to play independently and interact with other children, for example, on the playground. Here is what is really needed to make a mother - is to ensure the safety of the child, both at home and out and about.

"I want to be alone". From one thought immediately comes the creeps. Like this? Leave a sobbing child his grandmother, and by the rest? As you can relax without a child? It's very simple, and even necessary. Being a parent - very hard work, first of all, emotional. To give something to a child, you need to own to be filled, happy and joyful, and for that parents need time to time to spend time with no children in the company of friends or one another. Believe me, if you and your husband go to the movies and go back happy and satisfied in you do not betray the child, and will perform parental duties with even greater enthusiasm.

Also be sure to ask about how to raise the child in the sign of the zodiac

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