Women waiting for the holiday March 8 with impatience and excitement, while for men the day is full of trouble. This once again confirms that men and women are from different planets, and we understand each other is oh so not easy. Funny stories about the Women's Day in jokes lift your mood.
On this day, even paratroopers are afraid to catch the eye alone drunk women.
Advice to men: "If you had survived the Valentine's Day, do not flatter yourself, ahead of March 8!"
***
If March 8 gave you not that what you dream about, then the next time it is necessary to dream a lot louder.
Evening on 7 March. Women accompany none. Women escorted men.
- Honey, you bought me a gift on March 8?
- Of course, dear.
- And he liked me?
- If you do not like it, give me, I'm on such a spinning long dreamed of.
***
Sit two drunken men. One says to the second: "What a sad something like this?". "Why, I sit and think, what used to give to his wife on March 8 ...". "And when she March 8?"
- Expensive! What do you give on March 8?
- Oh, well, I do not even know...
- Then I'm giving you one more year to think.
***
The kindergarten is coming to the end of the matinee dedicated to 8 March. Suddenly a boy begins to cry loudly, his calm.
- Vanya, what happened?
- Santa Claus came!
***
Wife sent her husband for snails for the holiday dinner. I met a guy at the store of their friends. The first shot of the second... and stayed for 3 days. On 4th remembered snails, bought, thinking what to say to his wife. Comes home, he produces snails on the floor in front of the door, ringing the bell. Wife opens. Husband:
- Well, well, go, go! Phew, well here we are at home!
- Man, I can give you something to help?
- Yes, I need a gift on March 8!
- You need something more expensive, I understand you correctly?
- Why did you decide so?
- Well, that given the fact that today it is 24th March ...
***
And I said to her: "Remember, my dear! As I March 8 meeting, so you're a year and spend it! "
***
Child congratulated grandmother:
- Grandma, congratulations on March 8! - pause ...
Grandmother tells:
- and I wish ...
- Good soup with croutons, cook?
The woman tells her friends:
- My husband proposed to me to choose a gift on March 8 that his name starts with "sh" letter. I chose a fur coat, hat, champagne, shumochku, shapozhki, sholotye sherozhki sherebristy and "Chevrolet".
If you do not know what to give to his wife on March 8 - Remove Finally, the Christmas tree!
Another six months in its place will be a sprig of mimosa ...
***
- Izzy, and who came up with it to celebrate March 8 ?!
- I know... Such Statement Clara Zetkin and Rosa Luxemburg.
- And why would they need it?
- I myself think they sold flowers.
Morning daughter washing dishes.
- Dad, today is March 8! Why am I in holiday dishes a mine?
- You have not grown up to this feast.
- Well, then why did mom cooks dinner party?
Dad thoughtfully:
- And she has already developed into ...
***
Do you remember how the kindergarten narisuesh mom on March 8 "kalyaki-Grafik" - she is so happy! For some reason, my wife and I this trick does not pass ..
***
- As held March 8?
- Like in a dream. I met a handsome prince. He wore all day on my hands, showered with gifts, spoke gentle words.
- Oh, how romantic. And what then?
- I'm sorry, what.. At midnight, the prince turned back to my husband.
