Every day and every hour, every word and deed parents influence their children's future. We all want to have the best, and try very hard to them is "the best" to provide, at times making the choice for them.
Toys and entertainment, education and mugs, caring, communicating, walking... All of this top list of modern responsible parent. Is this enough to the future, our child could be happy? Answer a simple question: what does the best for you? What brings the greatest satisfaction and makes a happy life?
A family
For most adults, personal happiness is inextricably linked with the happiness of their families, loved ones, children. No career, no money, no fame can not replace the family warmth. Build a strong and happy family - a difficult science. To master it, you should start from childhood. Manners in the family, style of communication, family values and traditions of the children learn from their parents.
Parents - the most "accessible" adult in a child's life to follow, in order to learn from them, learn from them.
Absolutely all children learn parenting behaviors in the family - both good and bad. And bear this "parental inheritance" with adulthood. Inheritance is manifested in two ways - repetition (I was forced to, and I will do the same) or negative (I was forced to, but I have never will not do).First seven important years
Up to seven years of a child occurs programming the subconscious area of the brain. At this age, a process similar to photography in the film: all the memories of how to behave mom and dad in some situations, personnel are imprinted in the child's brain. In adulthood, remember this information is often not possible, but in a similar situation, this model works, and the person starts to behave the same way as his parents behaved. This is an automatic behavior pattern, and correct it can be very difficult.
family model to work on the bugs
For example, the family model "Chief father". In this family, the father - the leader, the breadwinner, the head. If he bears the responsibility for the family and its dominance is reasonable, it is likely that the children repeat parent model: the son will be responsible head of the family, and his daughter will choose to mate strong man. If the dominance of the father in the family "rolls over", he is despotic, selfish and rude, it is likely realized variant of denial and take the child with an inherited setting "my family will other".
The family model "Home mother"On the contrary, decisions are taken by the mother, provides a family and bears the main responsibility. The father in this family often plays the role of a slave, and the mother does not hide his contempt and the pressures to do with him. Gender roles are reversed, and the likelihood that the child will choose a strong and responsible partner in life, is not high. As well as the fact that the son of this family grow independent and self-sufficient man, able to take responsibility.
If in such a family, a mother understands the danger to children of the future consequences of their "public" dominance, it would not diminish the role of the father in the family, that help form the correct settings in growing children.
family model "Parents are workaholics" It is very common in the modern world. It is dangerous because there is a shift of life values and priorities: children learn the rule that the most important thing in life - work, secondary - family. This model involves distancing parents from children, because the pope, workaholics often see their children grow up, the photographs. Mom need great wisdom to form in children setting that Dad does for the family. To change the situation fundamentally can only experience the Pope of dialogue with the child. Growing kid learns at the same time the two behaviors - maternal and paternal. These models are different, but they must be the same in the main things.
5 Rules in the inheritance of happiness
Whatever may be the model of the family in your home, the observance of a few simple but very important rules fundamentally can turn your parental inheritance real treasure for the growing child.
Rule one: never find out the relationship with the child. Differences of any kind between the mother and father must be "behind closed doors". This - the key to the family as the fundamental basis of a single monolithic and indestructible partnership alliance. Additionally, you get a great bonus of the parent: the child will not be able to manipulate the relationship between the parents when one forbids, and the second allows - because in his mind the views of parents match.
Rule two:shows the child a good attitude, affection and love for your spouse (wife). Did you know that the majority of children of secondary school age biggest fear is related to the fact that parents can get a divorce? In your power to eliminate the anxiety of children's lives and create a positive attitude to the expression of pleasant emotions and feelings to loved ones. It stains the love, kindness, care, affection, warmth lay in the subconscious of the child model of his future family.
Rule Three:never peel off the negative emotions in the family. Whatever you are angry or upset, it does not splash out of the family. Instead, pay attention to their needs and develop - go to the movies, for a walk, a bath or a "kill them" punching bag. You do not want your child with his beautiful future family yelling at your other half and children and chose his companions unbalanced person?
Rule Four: be sure to encourage your children to communicate with their grandparents.If there is no possibility of communication with family and grandparents, be sure to take in your surroundings accessible wise man of advanced age, which will connect the chain of generations.
Rule Five: continue the family tradition and create your own. It is a family tradition draws a portrait of the original family and bring happiness into the house. Remember those good traditions that have been in the family of your ancestors. Tell them children. Take your family to those who for you roads. Invent new and together they follow. For example, make sure the furnace cherry pie for Christmas and gather the whole family in the day for tea. No matter what, no matter where you are, always in this day gather around one table. Or every year to fill a family album with new photos and be sure to watch it together.
What we can?
To share their experience, their knowledge and skills. TEACH the same, we know, we are able and do ourselves. Each of us has his own view of the world in which we focus. In it their tops and goals, his anxieties and fears, their notions of good and evil. If it suits us, we pass it to her child - consciously and unconsciously, his every act, every minute of his life.
If our view of the world is imperfect, we can supplement and improve it in children, so they do not repeat our mistakes and do not end up in difficult situations, which have fallen to our lot.
You share with your children that you have, right now, at this very moment. Make sure to get your parents' legacy has brought only good. Get started now. From this moment on. Use your opportunity to make the future of your child happy.
