Slight and the seemingly innocuous phrase parents, said without a second thought, and most importantly the best motives can affect not only the mind and the further life of the child, but also to become the foundation of his deepest complexes.
Most of the problems in adult life have their origins in childhood, so parents need to pay special attention to both the child-rearing practices, and ways to communicate with him. After all, to become a good parent-child, or better still a loyal friend - a lot of work and if you want their child only the very best, you just learn to understand him and feel. The most basic, to get you started, is to pay attention to phrases that are not worth talking baby, especially at a younger age.
"Stop it, I'm ashamed of you!". If the child is trying to attract the attention of an adult with the help of singing, loud speech or cries, then try not to dwell on this attention. Maybe he just wants more of your interest and concern. No need to blush and feel embarrassed for their child and even more for him to do observations in the presence of strangers.
"Stop crying, there's nothing wrong." Children also show their emotions as adults, but in their own way. It is necessary to accept them as they are, with all the pluses and minuses. Children learn from their mistakes, and their parents, in order that would help to understand the situations have occurred, to be able to respond to them properly and, most importantly, to overcome them without any problems.
"That's Tanya received a" 5, "and why do you" 4 "?".Saying this phrase, many parents believe that they want to better the child - the best estimates, the achievements and results. But in actual fact, the child hears a reproach to his side, someone better than him. In any case it is impossible to compare the success of your baby with someone else, you need to love him for who he is. Otherwise, in the future, it will transfer these complexes into adult life and will continue to compare their own achievements with others.
"Go away, I do not want to see you." Rashly or in a fit of anger, parents may unconsciously say much, but you should always try to monitor their statements, because the child takes to hear the words directly directly, skipping through. The adult will not accept a situation close to the heart, and may be a child, for a long time will suffer from feelings of guilt in front of him, as well as to think that without Mom and Dad would get along much better.
"You are, as always nothing you can do the right thing."
How did hurt to hear from parents that phrase - and painful to tears. After all, if the people closest to you believe not that they can not, then what is already talking about the others. These phrases, adults again and again remind the child about his failures, which accumulate over time in one huge complex. Think well, what is more important? Certainly a child who every day have to give parental love, affection, support and understanding.
"What a pity that you're not like your brother / sister." Such a comparison does not lead to good, because between children may arise rivalry, which eventually turn into a long-standing feud. We must not forget that every child is special, each has its own special talents and unique abilities. Think hard, unless such a relationship you want for your children?
"And why should I bore you." Ethat phrase is one of the most brutal and worst, who did not want to hear any child, even in jest. Life is a complicated thing, and there are different situations - even if your child was not wanted, then make sure that he would never have learned and felt. Surround it with love and care, which requires every kid, and then it will grow a real man.
In addition to all the above phrases, there is still a lot that parents express it on emotion, then without reason or without giving a special mention matter. But the children... The children take parents' words seriously. Therefore, parents need to work on yourself, try to keep track of your statements, and raise healthy, both physically and psychologically balanced, strong and self-confident personalities.
Also be sure to ask about, how to educate the boys: a short course for moms of boys
