Words have tremendous power. Can cause more severe pain than physical pain. And at the same time, a word can make you the happiest man on earth. So you need to treat very carefully to what you say and how.
The kid did not at first understand the meaning of your words. Rather, it will perceive the tone with which you say the words. Even if it is a "mountain you my onion."
But very soon, your baby will begin to understand you, and then you have to control what you say to him. So let's think about what and how you speak to your child. Often, we are investing in our words a meaning, and the kid sees them differently.
Especially careful with their words have to be mother of the child. Because the baby and mother bonded to each other on the emotional level and because of this maminy phrases have a hypnotic effect. They form the consciousness of the child. It was from his mother depends on how much your child will be successful in life, it is able to overcome obstacles, or he grows up insecure loser.
If the mother several times a day says that he has "nothing happens, for which he did not take all the spoils" or "I'll repeat the same thing, and you do not want to hear me." That child is really just to follow it so you say. And the more you shout at him, the more close to you baby. He simply ceases to hear you, ignores you.
Because poorat on baby, we are giving up and doing it yourself is that the child was asked to do, and he realizes that he has been listening to you it is not necessary. Or roll up the scandal. And the child again makes his conclusion: do anything you need only when nakrichat, and before that move is not necessary.
What to do in such a situation?
To get started, make sure that the child you actually hear. Do not shout with a request to do something in another room. Approach the child and calm him ozvuchte its request. If the child is still small, it can be even hugged. With the older child should at least make eye contact. That is, in the beginning we see that the child pay attention to you and only then turn to him with a request or instruction.
The main thing is to realize that perhaps the child you ignore not on purpose. Children under 14 years of age may not always notice what is happening around them. A striking example of my daughter (who is already 11 years old), I tell her that she had done something. She even in response to something positive answers. After some time, I am asking if she did what I asked her? What I receive the answer: "Mom, you did not tell me this!" That is, a child, when I asked her to, even joined in the conversation.
According to the latest scientific data proved that when the children are interested in something (play, read or just think), then do not pay attention to what is happening around them. That is why before anything, you should make sure to talk to your child that he can hear you.
Sometimes a child may intentionally ignore you. This happens when the child is testing you "strength" that he can afford to or not. These "tests" are perfectly normal stage of development of the child. Further. When you make sure that the child you heard, tell him what you were going. And wait for the result. If the child still comply with your request, that's fine. If not... read on. Repeat the request again and explain the reason for its implementation.
The child must understand the importance of the task. It is not just any your whim. This motivates him to be obedient. Not always, of course, it helps. But there is a high probability that a child still to fulfill your order. Example: "Please Take in his room. Should guests arrive. After all, you do not want them to see how you dirty? " Allow the child to feel the consequences of failure of your request.
An example from my life: my daughter warned her that the next training to be in a particular swimsuit (to dance). I asked her to get the swimsuit at home of things and bring in the laundry (it is on the eve of his soiled). She did not fulfilled. Accordingly, in the right form for the training she did not go. For which he received a "reprimand" from the coach. No need to run and perform most of the child all his tasks. Let learn independence and responsibility. Try to calmly explain to your child the consequences of failure of your request. "If you now do not gather on the street (and the child, for example, sat down at the computer), then we'll walk less and do not have time to go on the rides that you want"
Believe me, this way of working, even with small children. You provide the child a choice. Either he follows the rules, or it breaks them. And in the latter case, he must understand the consequences of his disobedience. Be consistent in fulfilling your promises. If you have promised to ride the rides, be sure to ride. Because in the future the child will not listen to you, since you are still not fulfilled its promise.
And again, always tell your child that he is the best. In fact, believe it! If you do not believe, and the kid will not be able to believe in your words. Convince him that he had to get something to accomplish. He believes in himself. Do not forget to praise your child. Program your child and yourself to the positive. And then you necessarily increase self-sufficient, confident and contented life of the person who will be able to fulfill their promises and be firm in your decisions.
