Once I observed the following scene: a mother walking on the street with a four-year daughter. Baby desperately naughty, hysterics, almost lying on the ground. Does not want to go, where to my mother. Her mother quietly persuades, explains the importance of the campaign is in a place where she (my mother) is necessary. A child is already sold vengeance. Ultimately, the mother persuades her little daughter: "We will go there and then, and I'll buy you your favorite doll." My daughter immediately got up from the ground and with peace of mind went to my mother!
What is it, you ask? My answer: a vivid example of the manipulation of the parents. Or here's another example: a mother tells that allows your child everything he wants, but wonders why the child does not want to listen to her. You are familiar with such situations? In this case - Meet in front of you a little selfish. In other words - the manipulator.
Of course, we all want to raise their children with good, responsive, respectful relating to parents and adults in general. We also want our children to get along with their peers, and have always been able to find common ground with others. But wishing it, we tend to forget that such a person should be brought up already from the cradle, constantly postponing the process of education. And by 3 - 4 years in the life of the crumbs are confronted with the examples described above me.
Such behavior of the child does not invent itself, he takes the example of someone from relatives or adults. Remember, we are sometimes begin to manipulate children. "You eat this mess, and I'll watch cartoons will solve." The child eats proposed, and then require the promise. When we persuade her baby to go to kindergarten, his promise mountains of gold. And come early, and buy toy and nasty porridge not feed. And the result? Mom, tortured after work, resorted to the garden and forget all the promises given in the morning, and the baby requires a promise. Mom gets angry and may even be punished. Again, the child's fault.
Like it usually is not terrible. But this is so only on condition that the mother explains the cause of forgetfulness, if the child sees the example of their parents, when they fulfill their promises. But if your child is selfish, then you nesdobrovat.
Selfish traits are manifested in the child when his whims fulfilled unconditionally. When we surround toddler overprotective, not giving him independence. The first attempts to manipulate people in a child look cute and innocent. Later, things get worse.
Manipulation, which often resort children
The Dying Swan. He always feels bad. Always move just barely. Can lain in bed all day, forcing you to perform all his duties at home itself. If a child saw the impact of his behavior, he will continue to do so. This behavior is typical for smart and very tricky children.
Dictator. Such a child is going through. Presses, and she gets her stubbornness, stomping feet, tantrums and disobedience. It looks ugly, and sometimes disgusting. And you, if only to stop such behavior, are ready to fulfill all the requirements of your dictator.
"Oh, have pity on me!" From the tender age he was constantly crying and soon realized that his tears are rewarded with attention and care. The kid has not had time to think of something to ask him this, and you have to comfort him, stroking and even offer something to appease.
Tyrant. Such a child often uses violence. He will be fighting, name-calling, spitting, shoving and cursing. Most of these kids love guns and clearly understand that the use of force, intimidation and hatred gives him the ability to manipulate people.
High achiever. Such a child will perceive all (both children and adults) solely as competitors. For him, the priority is to win always and everywhere. But as in all other areas (schools, clubs, and so on), it will overcome all or, on the contrary, will not be able to prevail, the child switches to the family. And the house will meet the new "height". Constant stress it causes those who is a good student, a sports achievements, all who are capable of it, "overtake".
What to do?
When this kind of behavior can not go on about their children. It is because of these children grow up Selfish! They will not be with someone else's opinion, and are stubborn people.
If your baby has learned to manipulate you, you will continue to do so into adulthood. He will do everything to put the people around them in a difficult position. As a result of aggressive manipulation of the surrounding people lose the ability to control the situation. And as a result, feel discriminated against.
• The child should be brought up according to age. Show and instill the concept of "good" and "bad." Learn to speak the time, "no." If you do or do not allow the child is Argues his refusal. But, at the same time, do not need everything to forbid your baby. If you have the time, desire or money to buy him a toy, which he had long dreamed of.
• If you purchase a treasured dolls or cars can not, calmly explain why you can not buy a toy or a story for some paid events. Let the child from an early age to learn to understand the material value of things. And when a little older, teach your child to handle money. For example, my daughter is six years old has learned to distinguish expensive things from inexpensive, but now, if she wants to buy something, I suggest first to buy it "earn". She tenderly puts every penny, and then we're going to buy a coveted thing (of course, we as parents add some money).
• Do not deny your child the desire to help you. Even if his help would be more damage. Let the child will understand how it is not easy to maintain cleanliness in the home. Well, if Dad will bring his son to repair, such as a bicycle. Even if the baby soiled in chain lubrication and scatter all the tools in the room.
• Remember to always praise and encourage your child for their efforts.
• Well, if your home will be a pet. Teach your kid the basics of caring for animals. Secure the child a duty to follow the pet.
• Designate the boundaries of what is permitted and strictly adhere to the framework.
• Do not forget, and do not be lazy to bestow the child was positive emotions. Kid vital needs tactile feel your love. Kiss the baby, hug, regret. Shows how much he is loved. Of course, even in this it is necessary to consider the measure and the age of your child.
• Write it down in some section. This will give your child a new hobby, friends, teach systematically and necessarily in the performance of tasks.
• Even if you are unhappy with the behavior of a child or act, try to talk to him a calm tone. Thus showing that you love him, but you do not like his act.
Let your child remembers his childhood as the happiest period of his life. Give your love and affection, become a wise mentor and guardian angel to him.
If you'll just appease the demands of your small arm, it will not replace him your parental care, only razbaluet. Save the concept of a "surprise" for your baby. Surprise must remain a surprise, but not an ordinary purchase. Education and spiritual qualities of independence - the main value of which can give parents.
