Expectant mothers are advised to rely on nature, and trust our intuition. But here's a pipsqueak was born, and the maternal instinct does not turn on immediately. Something is wrong? Where wave of tenderness, love and a desire to care? When he wakes up?
Radiating joy mothers with babies in their arms looking at us from TV screens and billboards. This idyllic picture makes feel inferior, if your life was going in a different way.
- You do not fly to every cry of a newborn?
- Do not strive every moment to be with the baby, and (gasp!) Willing to leave him in the care of a nanny or grandmother?
- In fact, many mothers do not feel at home invariably tender feelings for babies and needs to be constantly close - and begin to worry: where is this proverbial maternal instinct?
- What if he does not wake up or appears as a sluggish?
What if the maternal instinct does not wake up / istockphoto.com
Myths about maternal affection
1. he has an innate
A similar statement is true for the animal world, but people have a much more complex mental organization. To a woman naturally "including" maternal instinct, you must pass a series of stages of life:
- first, to be loved and desired child, play in the "Mothers and Daughters" in childhood,
- take care of the younger ones (not necessarily their brothers or sisters)
- have favorable experience of married life (sold as a wife)
- go through prosperous pregnancy and childbirth.
2. It occurs immediately after birth
Each woman has their physiology, hormonal background, typical only for her worldview, values and emotions. Some begin to experience strong feelings to the baby before birth, while others require several months to feel a strong connection, to penetrate it.
And in the case of a difficult birth, the child's health or bad mother, and difficult living conditions are extremely troubled grudnichka first months of life, maternal instinct can doze off for a very long time.
3. The stronger it is, the better
In the manifestation of the maternal instinct, as in many other cases, it is necessary to find a middle ground. Yielding to him too, the woman begins around the limit of the kid, trying to protect him from all potential hazards.
Meanwhile she loses the ability to think sensibly, bringing themselves to sleepless nights because of anxiety, panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. Such self-sacrificing mother runs the risk of spoiling relations with loved ones, which this concern, bordering on madness, it is hardly necessary to taste. Yes, and the child when older, is unlikely to appreciate my mother's efforts.
4. Without it does not raise a child
If a woman takes care of her baby, aware of its responsibility for his life and health, but does not impose itself on the idea of an invisible presence of communication with the child, it does not make it bad mother.
Sometimes it's better to be a realist with a highly developed sense of responsibility and common sense - it will not only comply with all recommendations for care, but also to filter unnecessary information without rushing extreme.
5. Manifest to all children
It often happens that women are showing concern not only in relation to his own, but also to other people's children. But this does not mean that the lack of a sense of emotion at the sight of someone else's child, evidence of underdevelopment maternal instinct: it can be shown only in relation to their child. Conversely, a woman may sincerely care about other people's children, not trying to make your own.
6. It is synonymous with love for the child
Love can not occur simultaneously, a complex feeling for the occurrence of which can without exaggeration be months or even years. Baby changing every day, and your relationship is constantly evolving. A desire to care for and protect may appear relatively quickly, regardless of the identity and age of the child. Instinct suggests an unconscious urge to do something for the baby, and love - most informed choice for the benefit of a loved one.
7. This instinct does not disappear
As children parents more distant from their education, some are beginning to build their personal life and career, switched to other concerns. Mom takes up less space in a child's life. And the maternal instinct naturally begins to fade: the child should be let go, allowing the life of their own. Excessive parental care can do much harm.
What if the maternal instinct does not wake up / istockphoto.com
So what is this feeling?
Maternal instinct - a set of specific rules of conduct, characterized by a desire to protect the baby and take care of it. This instinct (like any other) is not subject to the will of man, it encourages us to certain actions, "without asking."
Maternal instinct compels us to give up their own interests, wants and needs for the care of the offspring. That is why those moms who are not ready to immediately forget about his personal life and devote herself to the baby, often causing condemnation (or still envy?) From others.
What if the maternal instinct does not wake up / istockphoto.com
What if instinct does not wake up?
Stop evaluate and criticize yourself. Maternal instinct does not come on schedule, it is not something to take for granted. It is important to continue to carry out all duties of care, not harming the health of the child.
Try to separate their own vision of motherhood on the opinion of others. The main thing - do not follow other people's stereotypes, and to provide comfort to themselves, their family and the baby. What is good for others, it is not necessary to be fulfilled in your family.
Focus on the child and contact with it, Find a precisely those things that bring you pleasure (and that's just not delegate them!). After all, if all the heartwarming moments of life the baby will not occur to you, and you will solve only its "problems", and that attitude runs the risk of color in black tones.
What if the maternal instinct does not wake up / istockphoto.com
Afford at least sometimes be just a woman, not just mom. If the child will take up all your time, putting an end to your interests, relationship with her husband and friends, it does not contribute to the development of the maternal instinct, but also add negative emotions in relation to the baby.
Find helpers around the house and learn to relax. Many of the duties is not only possible to entrust to someone, but do not perform at all - perfectionism is not needed.
Analyze the relationship with his own mother. If your childhood memories are not the most pleasant, refer to the psychologist: an adequate attitude towards its history to help find harmony.
Also you will be interested to read this: 3 interesting facts about the maternal instinct, which you did not know
