As parents, we constantly think about how to raise a child, so that he grew up a good self-sufficient man, able to think and make important decisions, not following the lead of others. French philosopher Oscar Brenif'e - official UNESCO expert, whose experience dozens of books, which produced a revolution in the field of child care and education, it seems to have found the same - gold - answer.
In his books, Brenif'e insists that parents should not question children simply "shoot" ready-made answers that are owned. It is necessary to allow the child to develop their own thinking and the ability to independently find answers to all their questions. Brenif'e also identified several rules that will not prevent take note of all the modern parents.
Rule 1. The main obstacle to the fact that children are increasingly do not want to think - elementary impatient parents. Therefore Oscar Brenif'e recommends that all mothers and fathers at the beginning to start work on a daily basis, "pumping" his own patience.
For example, a question addressed to the child: "What is your name", many parents seek faster crumbs pronounce his name, assuring at the same time: "He's so shy." Thus it appears that the choice has already been made for the child, and without the slightest right to his own opinion and feelings. Maybe he would not have answered the question, but it would be his decision. Unable to withstand some 30 seconds, the parent has never learns how to be a child behaved in fact, whether he has his own space to respond.
Rule 2. Asking the child questions, parents need to become at this point the most ignorant. Such a recommendation at first sounds very strange, but in fact, it is very correct. And the thing is that when you have a clearly defined answer to the question, you and the child subconsciously require the same clear answer. In other words, the child shall (in your opinion) to answer exactly as you need. For example, the question, how much is 2 + 2 are no options other than "4" to be and should not be. But if the child will respond differently, do not rush to correct him. It is better to ask how and why he came to this conclusion, and it is possible that reflections will be much more interesting than the standard answer.
Rule 3. According to Brenif'e, the main problem of today's parents - the desire to make the child's "best". Blamed for it is difficult, it seems to be nothing wrong with that, BUT! Inflated parental expectations have an enormous pressure on the child, in the end, sadly, can end in tragedy.
For example, each parent is making Herculean efforts to his child was the best in the class. But if the class of 25 pupils, then, and the remaining 25 (at least), parents will have the same desire, right? Thus, in the children's team is still a hierarchy - honors, Losers and average. According to Brenif'e, inability of parents in such a way it is to accept and love your child, and "not the first and best "leads to the fact that the child is not able to accept failure as a normal phenomenon. And it is really tragic when a teenager decides to die due to the fact that bad exam. But such cases are, unfortunately, are becoming more frequent ...
Rule 4.In a conversation with the child need to teach him to speak the truth, using the options "Yes" and "No". In this case, the answer "not always" already is lying about the answer, and on the advice of Brenif'e to "think together, you need to stop lying."
Rule 5. According to Brenif'e, demand an explanation from the child to answer or instead of - an unacceptable rate of education. This is regarded as an escape from the situation on the part of parents. For example, the adult asks, "Is that you broke the plate?". The child offers to explain, but the parents insisted: "Please answer! Or not, and then an explanation. " Just keep in mind that explanation "later" will not be! Be wise!
And be sure to ask, why French children do not spit eating.
