Divorce statistics in our country, unfortunately, is not pleased. And that means that divorced women with children a lot. And most of them create a new family, to marry again and attain personal happiness. To-child relationship with the stepfather is not marred it, you need to make friends with them. It is possible, and how, read on.
Do not be afraid that the children are in most cases the newly created "dad" is not well perceived. The reasons are many: they are jealous of the mother, and the unwillingness to recognize the parents a break, and a children's selfishness, and others. But if it is correct to introduce your baby to your chosen one, to establish a framework of communication in the family and determine new foundations, the child will soon get used to the change and you will be able to live together quite peacefully and happily.
6 tips on how to make friends with a baby with her stepfather
1. Meet the child only with the man with whom want to long-term relationships
For example, if the baby is now acquainted with the one your are a fan, tomorrow with another, and the next day catches you with the third, it will have a number of negative consequences for him.
First, the child does not develop a sense of stability and confidence in the future. Second, in the future, it will inherit a manner of behavior and not be able to create a normal family. Thirdly, my mother, me, a man often in the future, is losing credibility with the baby and it becomes a cause of difficult relations with him.
2. Stepfather - not the father
Whatever biological dad, baby it is important to be aware of its existence and you should encourage them to communicate. If a father does not want to see the child, still talk to the kid, he's a good, just the circumstances.
As for the stepfather, he has a slightly different role in a child's life. Yes, it can become a family man and his close friend, but do not replace them his own father.
3. Even if the stepfather raises her baby at birth, it is not necessary to present it as his own father
Many parents hide from the children that their father - not home, because they do not remember the biological father. According to psychologists, this is a time bomb, because the truth is necessary when something comes up, and probably not the most opportune time. And this, in turn, can greatly spoil the relationship between parents and children.
4. To establish the child's relationship with a new member of the family gradually
Do not trust the education of your new baby handpicked from the first day of their acquaintance. They need time to make friends and establish contact, get to know each other better. Otherwise, communication may be exacerbated tensions between stepfather and stepson or stepdaughter never find a common language.
5. Give the child time to ensure that you take a new husband
Regardless of age, children who met his future stepfather, gripping a lot of emotions. And most of them - negative. This jealousy, and desire to change something in your life, and the fear that he would be "superfluous" in the new family. Therefore, have patience and wisdom to establish communication between the newly made relatives. Do not expect that the child immediately fall in love with your man, but requires him to respect the choice of the mother.
6. Do not expect a new husband, that he immediately fell in love and take your child
This point is also very important, because for a male child of his woman - a reminder of past relationships, so it can cause conflicts and misunderstandings, and rampant jealousy.
To avoid this, you should mark the boundaries between the new man and your favorite child, to devote sufficient time and one, and another. And in any case do not give the child's education in favor of a new husband (for example, sending a child to his grandmother on education for an indefinite period). Think about it, so if you need a man for whom the most is your own man is a burden. Maybe you should not hurry to enter into a serious relationship with the egocentric male representatives.
You will also be useful to know, how to tie a relationship after the divorce.
