World statistics says that women are more likely to initiate divorces, while men in these marriages are satisfied with everything. The stronger sex often even blames their wives for destroying families that could be saved. But there are things that are hard to endure, especially in the long run. Sometimes it's better to put an end to a relationship in order to move on.
Gail Gross is a family psychologist, Ph.D., and a member of the American Psychological Association. Having extensive professional experience in family matters, she named 6 things that should be wake-up calls and a step towards the fact that it is worth thinking seriously about the value of such a marriage.
1. Love and involvement only from your side
They say that in a relationship one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. This beautiful phrase is good only in theory, but as a practice in family life it is almost always a failure.
Some women at the stage of marriage are sure that everything will change - as soon as she demonstrates to him the full power of her love, he will certainly melt, appreciate, understand everything and love her answer. But this does not happen, and life turns into a service to an indifferent and cold person with self-sacrifice. If this is your case, consider if you would like to give yourself a chance to love and be loved?
2. Marital infidelity has become the norm
Cheating happens, and it's sad. Despite the fact that now often talk about polyamory with a norm of life with several partners for body and soul, many adherents of traditional family relationships are disgusted and hurt by infidelity.
If cheating on your family has become a constant occurrence, most likely they will not stop. Do you need a marriage in which there is always someone else?
3. Dramatically opposing views on the future
They say that opposites attract. Often, couples who are just starting out may have different points of view, but subsequently they get closer and start looking in the same direction.
But if you want to have children and he doesn't; you want to invest in your own housing, but he is satisfied with living with his mother or in a rented apartment; you think that you need to go to work, and your spouse wants to make you a comfortable housewife - can you put up with this for the rest of your life?
4. Deception and neglect in important family matters
Romance is good, but there are things that turn marriage into a partnership project with long-term goals and common property.
You decide to save money for an apartment or for a child's education, and then you find that the money has been spent. The husband has lost his job, but is in no hurry to find a new one, while you pull the whole family on yourself. You learn from third parties that your spouse is disrespectful of you and your marriage. This suggests that the family boat is crashing on waves of disrespect and neglect.
5. Lack of security
Security is one of the basic human needs, the absence of which negatively affects all other areas of his life.
Alcoholism, gambling, drug addiction, communication with dubious people, large debts - all this exposes risk not only to your husband, who creates it with his own hands of his own free will, but also to you and your children. Do you really think that such behavior on a long-term basis can and should be tolerated?
6. Physical abuse
This point is closely related to the previous one, but it is more straightforward and common. Unfortunately, assault is an integral part of upbringing in many families. Children who grew up in such families carry this behavior into their own lives, considering it to be the norm.
If a husband raises his hand against his wife and children, this may seem normal to both him and her. If you are the wife of such a man, think about where this will lead in the long run. If you yourself are ready to endure, then at least think about the family climate in which your children will grow up and what experience they will gain and carry through life.
