Despite the fact that many women, having learned about the betrayal of their partner, strive to scratch out the eyes of the one with whom he was, in most cases the mistress is not to blame for anything. And the women themselves are not to blame. You can get very fat, not diversify intimacy, grumble from time to time - this is not a reason to look for a replacement for you. Who is to blame and who is not - this is a question that women torment themselves with, completely forgetting that it is the decision of an adult to change. Why is the first reaction - anger at his mistress? Do not rush to insult the person.
The mistress cannot steal it from you.
Your partner is not your property. He is not a ram that was beckoned and he ran, he is not a suitcase that was taken and carried away. He is an adult, and no one can take him away, if he cheated, then he himself wanted it. You can steal only in the literal sense, if we talk about the theft of a person. And you must understand that if your partner really loved you, his attention would never have switched to another woman. Never!
You always said: "you are mine", but in fact, maybe he was not yours? Maybe you just fell head over heels in love with him, fell for beautiful words and deeds, and it just seemed to you that he loves you?
Lover hurts too
Right now, you don't want to think about her pain because you're in pain of your own. But after all, your man's mistress also has feelings, experiences, and she is very hurt. Do not rush to condemn her and blame her for anything, think first. He fooled the two of you. Maybe he didn’t tell her that he was in a relationship with you, or maybe he lied that you didn’t live together or that you were on the verge of breaking up.
If she did not know about you, it means that he fooled both you and her. Maybe he told her that he did not love you, or he lied that you were cheating on him, he confessed his love to her, said that they would be together. You know only part of the story, only the fact of infidelity, but you don’t know how her relationship with your partner actually developed, you don’t know the whole story.
The mistress did not betray your trust
She is nobody to you, and never was anybody. Well, this is only if she is not your friend or relative who deliberately decided to take the man away from you. Although in this case, what does “take away” mean? I repeat, he is not a sheep, he went himself, which means that this is his decision. And it was he who undermined your trust, it was he who betrayed you, it was he who screwed up. She was not going to hurt you, and he was well aware that everything could end very sadly, but still preferred to satisfy his lust. But he said that he would always love you, that "in sickness and in health." Is not it?
The mistress did not force him to cheat on you
Well guess what she did? Did she put a knife to his throat and ordered him to sleep with her? Did she threaten him, blackmail him with something? Again, situations are different, but this is something from the realm of serial stories. Naturally, in real life, this happens extremely rarely. And it was he who decided to change you, no one forced or forced him. It was he who chose to become unfaithful to you, it was he who showed disrespect to you and wiped his feet on you.
Many women forgive their cheating men, continue to pretend to be loved and loving, are proud that their partners stayed with them, and curse with all their might, hate their mistresses. By shifting all the blame on their mistresses, they seem to remove responsibility from their unfaithful partners. Shouldn't a man be in control of his desires? Isn't he the one who cheated on you? This is only his fault, his act and no “devil beguiled” and other nonsense should not relieve him of responsibility. And the mistress has nothing to do with it ...
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/ego-izmena-vasha-bol-no-ljubovnica-ne-vinovata.html
