Mom is the dearest and dearest person in everyone's life. We are ready to do anything for mom's health and well-being. We love selflessly, not for something, but just like that. But why do mothers sometimes behave so strangely towards their children? How do you know if your mom is a toxic person?
She wants to be your only girlfriend
Friendship with mom is real gold, when you support each other in everything, help in everything, you seem to be on the same wavelength. But there must be a limit. Because sometimes such a friendship between mother and daughter takes on an unhealthy form. Friendship should be unobtrusive and easy, you cannot be on an equal footing with your mother. The only relationship format is mother and daughter, but mother should not become your only friend. You have different generations, different positions in society, there must be a hierarchy between you.
She often blames and shames you
And still offended. If your mom inflates even the smallest mistakes to a universal scale, it's time to tell her “stop”. Or maybe she starts to drink sedatives, grab her heart and cry because of your actions? This is common manipulation! And, if, moreover, all this often happens in public, then this is just the limit. Children with such mothers grow up very insecure and unadapted to life. Because they will be afraid to take a step forward, constantly analyzing what their mother will say about it.
You become critical of yourself
If your mother criticized you for years for not such behavior, not that appearance, and so on, then this will certainly be postponed in the future, and you will be too critical of yourself. As a result - low self-esteem, constant dissatisfaction with oneself, self-doubt and other bouquet.
Are you drawn to dependent relationships?
You depend on your mother's opinion and on her mood, so it was from year to year, and now, when she does not nearby for some reason, you are automatically drawn to such relationships, whether it be friendship or communication with men. And you feel bad from such a relationship, but you endure. You do not think that you deserve better, you are sure that you yourself are to blame for your bad attitude. You constantly needed a mother, and this is exactly what she did, and this is a very unhealthy and destructive relationship, and now you again, according to the existing layout, continue to communicate with people in the same variation.
She wants to realize her dreams in you
Mom dreamed of becoming a pianist, being a ballerina or studying to be a doctor, but something prevented her. It is not surprising that you were enrolled in a dance club from the age of four, and at 7 you entered a music school in piano. And she has already decided everything about your future, you definitely need to realize yourself as a high-class doctor. Your mom is definitely a toxic person because she doesn't see you as a person with her own desires and dreams.
When she wants to punish you, she plays silent
A long silence is a test even for an adult, and even more so for a child. Any of your incorrectly spoken word or behavior that is objectionable to your mother gives rise to contempt in her, and she is silent to show you how wrong you are, how hurt and hurt she is. But in any healthy relationship, including between mother and daughter, there must be communication, expression of feelings. And, unfortunately, grown-up children absorb such a format of manipulations, further recouping in the same way on their relatives.
There is only one way out, to identify all these toxic notes in your relationship with your mother, determine how it affects you, and then set boundaries. And there is nothing wrong with that, your mother will remain your most beloved person, but you need to live your life. Absolutely any form of emotional abuse, even if it is associated with a mother who should wish you nothing but the best, is simply unacceptable in a relationship.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/6-priznakov-chto-vasha-mama-toksichnyj-chelovek.html
