Old age spares no one, we all will face it someday. From strong, healthy and successful people, we will turn into crooked old people who will find it difficult to take care of themselves. In other countries, it is common to place your elderly relative in a special institution. With us, this is always perceived with hostility. Say, this is tantamount to leaving a child in an orphanage.
Well, what if there is absolutely no way to care for the old man? If you need to work? If there are small children who also need care? Wouldn't it be better then to put a person in a good place where he will be provided with proper care?
Lena Slava's husband has a similar situation. He is the only child in the family, beloved and desired by dreams, a late child. His mother gave birth to him when she was almost 40 years old. The parents are good, they never climbed into the family of the young, they lived their own lives, they didn’t need help, they both have a good pension, a house, a car, a dacha. secured in general. Lena and Slava live in another city, they have three children, the eldest is 10, the younger twins are 3 years old.
Here is a nuisance, the father-in-law dies, the mother-in-law remains alone. She was always a fighting woman, independent, but then she began to get sick, act weird, then she calls, says that someone climbed into her house, that she saw her husband alive, she began to confuse the numbers of the children's numbers, called strangers, and then scolded the children that they were supposedly numbers changed.
Now she is 70 years old, it is clear that she is developing dementia, it is clear that she is ill alone, and that her loneliness only aggravates the course of the disease. Lena is scared, she understands that Slava is waiting for the first step from her, and she is afraid to take her mother-in-law to her. Her mother is also many years old, she has been living alone for a long time. And Lena is afraid that someday she will have to take her mother to her, and then her mother-in-law
Caring for the elderly is not easy, especially for two. This is a huge talent and the breadth of the soul is needed in order to devote one's life to caring for others. In addition, Lena and Slava have little twins, and they both still work. It is such a responsibility to take an elderly person into your home, it is so hard both physically and mentally. And who will look after the old people while everyone is at work? Dementia is a terrible thing. A person can forget his relatives, forget his name, turn on the gas, leave home. Wouldn't it be better for specially trained people to take care of the old man? That he was under the supervision of doctors?
Lena and Slava can pay for their mother-in-law a nursing home, but their conscience gnaws, it's still a mother. While they think, and can not decide anything, the mother-in-law keeps getting weirder. They tried to take her to the doctor, because people with dementia live for a long time with proper therapy, but she flatly refuses to visit the hospital, and does not want to take any pills. And even more so, she does not recognize that she has something with her head. This makes it doubly scary.
It turns out that Lena and Slava first studied to get a good job, then worked to buy housing to provide for children, and then you have to inspect elderly relatives, and take time for yourself when will be?
Perhaps, such an opinion will seem selfish to someone, but Lena really does not want to take her mother-in-law to her. She now needs to think about the children, they are still small. Better let Slava's mother live in a special institution. So everyone will be better and calmer.
On the other hand, right now she is thinking about children, raising them, educating them, spending all her energy on them, and then they will also push her into a nursing home. Where is the truth? What to do? How do you think?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kuda-devat-pozhiluju-svekrov-esli-k-sebe-vozmozhnosti-zabrat-net.html
