How would it be to live simply if people could read each other's thoughts. Or maybe we don’t need this at all, why do we sometimes need to know that someone does not like us or wishes us harm? But still, we cannot read other people's thoughts, we do not know what a person feels, what he thinks about, what emotions overwhelm him. And it only seems to us that there is communication between us, it only seems to us that we understood what the person’s experiences are about, what he meant when he answered us something. It just seems to us.
Until you learn how to talk about your feelings, until you ask a person if you understood him correctly, there will be a misunderstanding between you, which can give rise to resentment, reproaches and other negative effects.
A person is not able to correctly understand the facial expressions of a person, the tone of his voice, gestures. If you think so, then you greatly overestimate yourself. Until you are sincerely and honestly told about your feelings, you cannot fully understand anything. Due to the fact that much is left unsaid and misunderstood, we begin to draw the wrong conclusions. Many even seek out the emotions and feelings of people in messages. But this is how we read the messages, and are not able to understand what kind of experiences and feelings overwhelmed the person when he wrote them!
And in order to understand a person, it is not at all necessary to become a psychologist! All you have to do is ask direct questions, asking what the person is really experiencing, how they feel, real feelings. This is especially important when it comes to people close to us. We need to ask them, and we need to listen to them! And we, too, must sincerely talk about our emotions and feelings, i.e. it works both ways!
Let's say it seems to you that someone is obliged to apologize to you, and now you sit and wait for the person to do this, just wait and that's it. Or you can wait for an eternity, because a person may not know that he offended you with something. When you talk to a person, you simply remain silent, instead of talking about your experiences and feelings. You are waiting for the person to read your mind. This is especially true in couples, a woman is offended by something and expects the man himself to guess that he offended her. But you just need to say everything directly without hints!
You should always share your feelings, emotions, expectations. After all, how many problems in life are due to the fact that something remains unsaid between people! Most recently, I managed to establish communication with my old friend. For many years we were silent and offended at each other, but suddenly I wanted to know how she was, what was happening in her life. And I wrote to her, and we were able to tell each other everything that was boiling, to resolve all questions and omissions, to open our feelings.
Complicated? And because it seems to you that they will not understand you, you are trying to predict the reaction of the interlocutor in advance, but you cannot know exactly how he will react! You can not! Therefore, we must ask, we must speak and we must listen!
You can start by talking openly about your feelings with your friends, answering a simple question: “how are you?”. What do you usually answer: "fine", "will do", "nothing". You probably think that you are being asked this question just out of courtesy, but you certainly can't know! Suddenly you are mistaken?
You can't read minds, and no one can. Therefore, you just need to help each other by talking about them!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/ljudi-ne-umejut-chitat-mysli-drug-druga-o-svoih-chuvstvah-nado-govorit.html
