It doesn’t matter at all why you don’t want to lend a person: maybe you consider him unreliable, you had your own plans for funds, you are greedy (well, happens), you value relationships and are afraid that money can ruin them, or is it your personal life conviction: never give anyone in duty. The bottom line is, how is it right to refuse, so as not to spoil the relationship with the person? What to do so that he does not take offense at you, what to say, how to do everything right?
Constantly lending is a bad habit!
Any situation can happen in life, and, perhaps, someone from your loved ones will really need financial assistance. In this case, I think it is possible to provide all possible assistance. But, when your friends, relatives, work colleagues introduce constant borrowing of funds from you into a real habit, abuse your reliability, and then they themselves scatter money right and left, this is not very OK. In fact, you should not care what a person spends this money on, if he gives it back on time. But this situation can sometimes last for decades!
There are people who are used to borrowing because they do not know how to plan their budget. They know that there is a spare feeder, from which you can simply take it in the right situation and spend it. It turns out that by lending, you can not only harm yourself, but also those who borrow from you. Because a person completely gives up, does not reveal his life potential, continues to spend thoughtlessly.
A person who is always listed as a borrower does not know how to save at all. At the same time, his conscience does not torment him at all, he feels comfortable and calm. You cannot fix a person, but your courage and determination are still able to resolve the situation.
Let's figure out the approximate options for why you supposedly cannot give a person a loan. Just do not talk now about spirituality, God, that we are all equal, that we need to help those in need. Many abuse it, they have arms, legs and a head. They can work, but they don't need to because you are there. Think! Here's how you can answer:
- “I am saving up for an apartment / house / furniture, and the purchase should take place any day”
- “A child got sick (I understand that this is not a joke, let the kitten, dog, etc. get sick then), a trip, a holiday, etc. are expected.”
- "I'm going to invest in business"
- “I myself owe everything, I have to give”
- “I can’t withdraw money because I invest it, interest is charged on it, I can suffer losses”
- “Yesterday I took out a loan, credit, etc.”
- “They delayed my salary / slapped me with a reprimand / fined me at work - now I myself have no money”
- “I never lend, this is my position in life.”
In addition to ideas, because of which you cannot give a person a loan, it is also important to develop a certain tactic of behavior.
- Do not tell anyone about your financial income, family budget, savings, etc.
- Refer to the impossibility of lending money, but offer help with food, clothes, maybe you can borrow household appliances. You will show that you are ready to help, while most often the borrowers refuse such assistance, because they need the money for their personal needs.
- Be cool and calm, do not show your emotions, do not scandal, do not joke, do not sympathize. Mentally imagine that you have built a wall between yourself and the borrower that cannot be broken.
There are also exceptions!
- If you are already going to lend, give an amount with which you are able to part forever. Because everything happens in life. A person can just throw you.
- You can help the borrower if he really found himself in a very unpleasant situation. For example, I got into an accident, we need funds for the treatment of a child / parents / other relatives.
And for those who are used to constantly living at someone else's expense, I will say that you need to learn how to plan your budget, invest, invest at least small amounts, so that there is a "safety cushion" in a difficult situations. No one is obliged to help you, you are an adult independent person, and you must earn money on your own.
All the best!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-otkazat-cheloveku-kogda-on-prosit-v-dolg.html
