Recently, rivalry in pairs has become very frequent. Well, if the competition is healthy, it only unites the couple and motivates them to become better, to achieve more. But what if the rivalry turns into a real fight? In this case, separation cannot be avoided. And it is better to understand this topic in order to learn how to compromise.
Why does rivalry arise?
There are several reasons for the appearance of rivalry in a relationship. But more often competition still occurs in those couples that are characterized by a certain type of personality. So the reasons are:
- Striving for leadership. When both partners want to be leaders, a real struggle begins, leading to quarrels.
- The weakness of one of the partners, but the desire to show their independence. Anything can happen, but most often it happens with girls.
- Work together. At work, a person tries to show all his best qualities, and if he works together with his soulmate, then competition begins. This is the case when a career comes first for a person.
- Rivalry is like a game. Some people just have such a character trait - to compete and compete. And you need it to get emotions.
- Failures in other areas of life, and rivalry in relationships, as compensation for losses.
- Warming up the partner's interest. Again, everything happens in life, but more often girls behave this way in order to warm up the interest of a man. They believe that this makes them more desirable. Only if a man is a leader in life will there be rivalry.
I must say right away that rivalry in a pair is not always bad. Sometimes it helps in development, allows you to get out of your comfort zone and achieve your desired goals.
Problems from rivalry
Sometimes rivalry does not bring benefits, but, on the contrary, spoils relationships. And here it is worth finding the key to mutual understanding so that the union does not fall apart in the end. Because when both partners strive for leadership, they begin to ignore each other's desires. Sometimes relationships continue in the absence of love just to show your soulmate that you deserve to be a leader.
Sometimes the daily struggle for first place can turn into hatred, relationships become toxic, scandals appear, goals are underestimated. People may lose self-esteem in such relationships, psychological trauma appears.
How to avoid negativity?
It is important to understand that a person can become better without even competing, but simply by doing his own thing. Here are ways to help avoid rivalry in a relationship:
- Make meaningful decisions together, praise your soulmate more often, try to see her strengths.
- Learn not to envy your partner's achievements, but, on the contrary, to rejoice for him. If you cannot get rid of the envy that has arisen, try to occupy yourself with some interesting business.
- Accept the fact that no one is perfect, and neither are you. Your partner may be worse than you in some ways, and better in some ways.
- Discuss your relationship problems, especially by saying things that make you uncomfortable.
How not to compete, but to cooperate?
We are building relationships not to prove something to our partner, to fight with him, to humiliate him. We build relationships by creating a single whole, so it is worth learning to cooperate, not compete.
Learn to accept a person with all his advantages and disadvantages. You can pay attention to his strengths, and help him develop them. And also try to prioritize correctly. Especially if you are connected by a common place of work. Learn to avoid conflict by sharing responsibilities and respecting each other's personal boundaries.
What do you think about rivalry in a relationship?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/sopernichestvo-v-otnosheniyah-horosho-ili-ploho-pochemu-voznikaet-i-kak-izbezhat-negativa.html
