Society dictates certain rules of life to us. This is especially true of marriage, and women are more likely to suffer from stereotypes. If a lady does not get married before the age of 30-35, then everything that she has achieved immediately depreciates. She may have a good education, a well-paid job, a car, an apartment, she develops personally, but if she does not have a husband, then something is definitely wrong with her! And she will not have time to give birth, as if her value depends on this. And in general, sidelong glances, condemnation, and maybe, on the contrary, pity will begin. Poor girl, no one will marry her ...
By the way, men get it too. They are told that if they don’t get married before a certain age, then that’s all, then no one will need them. Although I would argue. It is we women who grow old with age, so to speak, but men look even much better with age, like expensive wine! But this is just my opinion, now it's not about that.
I'm talking about the same society that hurries everyone to the registry office. Don't people understand that going down the aisle or not is only a personal decision of a person, and no one should influence him, neither strangers nor relatives? Maybe someone else in their distant youth decided for themselves never to get involved with anyone by marriage? And also, doesn’t this very society think that in their youth there were a lot of people who wanted to marry a woman, but she simply wasn’t sure, wasn’t ready for this? Well, the gentlemen did not fit. And, while all the girlfriends married handsome boys, who for the most part bludgeoned them or left them with children, she was engaged in her development, worked, and enjoyed life.
And why did such a strong confidence appear that after 30 no one will fall in love for sure? I will say right away, I am married, I probably fall into the number of those who are really lucky. But I have a lot of acquaintances who really regretted very much that they got married early and with the wrong person. One friend is now in her second marriage, she married a second time after 30, and is happy. That's just from the first marriage there was a son, and the former is watching her everywhere, calling, threatening. So where were her eyes before, when she went with him to the registry office?
Another friend is just stuck in an unhappy early marriage and she won't even talk about divorce because she's afraid of society's judgment! That is, she is ready to close her eyes to her lack of happiness and peace, if only she would not poke a finger in her back! By the way, such people are pitied, but not condemned. And why then condemn those women who did not commit a stupid act, did not marry a terrible person?
So marriage gives us status in society, even if we occupy a very miserable place in it? Even if the spouse does not love, or we love him, even if we are bad and irresponsible parents. The main thing is to have a husband, albeit a poor one, but he was!
I think that marriage is a very big responsibility, and children are a lifetime responsibility. And it takes a very long time to find a truly suitable person. On the way there can be many mistakes, failures, pain, and maybe luck. You need to get married when you are already sure that you want, matured, became mature. And this is normal if a person at 30, at 35 is not yet married. This only suggests that he simply did not find the right person for himself! This is much better than going to the registry office with just anyone, and then regretting it all your life.
Yes, and it is better not to have children at all, instead of giving birth, and then neglecting them. There is no need to listen to society, it will always impose something, and will always be dissatisfied with everything. Do as you feel, as you want, so that it is good for you, and not for others!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/ne-toropites-vyhodit-zamuzh-uzh-luchshe-pozdno-chem-soedinyat-zhizn-s-nepravilnym-chelovekom.html
