How to achieve a happy life with people? And everything is very simple, if it suddenly seemed to you that a terrible person was next to you, do not write it off that “it’s a bad day”, that you are now having a “difficult period in the relationship”, or that he is “checking boundaries." If it seemed to you that a terrible person was next to you, then a really terrible person was next to you!
You ask him not to tease you, but he does it anyway. You tell him not to smoke in the apartment because you don't like the smell, but he ignores it, you ask him not to discuss your relatives, but he doesn’t care, and then you tell him that he is a traitor, and he tells you: “Enough hysteria."
He does not hear you, but this does not mean that your ability to communicate is lame. It’s just that he is like that, he doesn’t appreciate you, he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t care about you at all, he doesn’t respect you. So why are you still with him? What are you waiting for? What feats are you doing?
I have a question for you: do you hear yourself? How long can you look for a compromise if he does not try to do this? He is not interested in this.
I remember once I bought myself high-quality expensive shoes of simply unearthly beauty. And after half an hour, as I put them on, my legs ached from pain, lacerated wounds appeared on my fingers and heels. How I suffered. I came home, put my feet in a basin of ice water and sat there for an hour. I smeared my wounds with ointment, glued a band-aid, and then... I put on those very uncomfortable shoes again, went to some event in them, and the picture with pain and wounds was repeated. I kept hoping that the shoes would break, or maybe that the legs would shrink.
But nothing happened, the shoes remained hard, uncomfortable, harmful. There was no compromise. But you just had to put on other shoes, and leave these alone: take them to a consignment shop, throw them away, give them to a friend.
So, now tell me: why are you all walking around in uncomfortable shoes? What a feat, and what price will you pay for it? What are you suffering for? I don’t remember who I read one phrase from, but it sounded something like this: “If I don’t like food, I’d rather drink some water.” And what true words! Indeed, instead of eating something tasteless or unhealthy and then suffering from stomach pains, indigestion or heartburn, it is better to drink water.
This is how many women live in the world. They simply endure humiliation, insults, betrayal of partners, bullying, assault. But why? Because they are afraid of becoming lonely, because they think that they do not deserve more and better, because they are afraid that they will be condemned by society and relatives. Indeed, it often happens that a man seems to everyone to be positive from all sides, and only the second half knows his true face, on which he works out all his quirks!
And what about indigestion and lacerations from shoes? Your life will be the same. Over time, you will be very broken, torn bleeding wounds will appear in your soul, you will spend all your nerves, destroy your psyche, and you will get sick. Why do you need all this? If you stay in a relationship that is uncomfortable for you for so long, and endure everything, it means that you yourself do not value and do not love. Because you deserve more, but for some reason you are afraid to admit it.
And do not excuse yourself that you have children with this terrible person, that you do not want to injure them. Children need, first of all, a healthy and happy mother, and not a humiliated and crushed pillow to beat. Do not live according to the principle: "though poor, but a man"! Believe me, there are a lot of real men in the world who respect women, idolize them, know how to love them and make them happy. And it doesn’t matter if you are 30, 40 or even 60, it’s never too late to break everything and become truly happy. And let someone condemn. People will always find something to cling to. Better that than to pay for a terrible relationship at such a price!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/cena-kotoruju-vy-zaplatite-za-neudobnye-vam-otnosheniya.html
