Has it happened in your life that you were friends with a person, were friends, and then bam, and somehow began to move away? There were conflicts, or, on the contrary, everything went off without quarrels - it doesn’t matter. It's just that your relationship seems to have outlived its own, and it's all over. I have such an experience, and somehow I was very worried about it. But then I reconsidered my attitude to the situation, and I live peacefully further.
I had a girlfriend, they studied together at the institute, not that they were straight, but they often saw each other. And then they married two friends. They began to communicate even more often, all the holidays together, then the kids went both with us and with them. And then some nonsense struck my girlfriend in the head. Her husband began to walk, I found out, he asked me to be silent, and I was silent for a while, because I did not know how to tell my friend. Yes, and my husband slowed me down, told me not to climb, otherwise they would reconcile later, and I would remain guilty.
I kept silent, my husband himself confessed everything to her, and said about me, like he thought that I had already blabbed everything. Well, it is clear that I was to blame. Either way, I would be the one to blame. And yes, they reconciled, and for decency, we greet each other when we meet, but we are no longer friends like we used to be.
And there was another case. They also talked with the girl for a long time, and then without conflicts, without any other reasons, the relationship went wrong. I was worried, well, well, my friend after all. And then my husband set my brains, for which I thank him very much. He tells me: “Forget it, don’t call her, write, suffer, worry, don’t look for meetings and try to fix everything.”
It was difficult, honestly. But friendship is all the same interdependence. Well, it happens that we went different ways, no need to be offended, find out what's what. There is no need to try to support what has already gone out, to stimulate, to arrange meetings on purpose, to look into the eyes. This will not help, on the contrary, it can only make things worse. Only one thing will help here, just move away and not touch the person, step back, end the friendship.
You know, it's like a glass curtain. You still see each other, you know about each other's existence, you keep all decorum, but you are separated by a glass wall. You do not communicate, you are isolated from each other.
And I learned in time and without regret to lower this glass curtain. And you know, it's pretty useful stuff! Well, you can’t communicate normally with your old acquaintances, friends, buddies. You annoy them, and you are tired of listening to their complaints and tediousness. And alcohol no longer brings you together, and companies with mutual friends, and holidays. Well, everything, uninteresting, went out. Now only the formal status of friends forces you to contact and pretend that everything is wonderful.
What for? Why are you suffering this? Let people out of your life, no need to become attached to them, no need to force anyone to maintain friendship, that's enough. Glass Curtain! Perhaps after a year or two, your relationship with those people will be able to improve, friendship will resume, I do not argue. Everything can be, and maybe nothing else will work out. Time will tell.
But I will say that moving away from a person in time is an incredibly valuable skill, you need to develop it in yourself, you need to try. This is the key to your psychological well-being! Just a glass curtain, and live your life in peace!
What do you think about this? If you have been friends with a person for many years, but there is some kind of distance from each other, is it worth trying to resurrect the relationship or not, a glass curtain?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/poroj-druzhbu-nuzhno-ostanovit-i-zhit-dalshe.html
