The topic is very common lately. At first, there was a lot of talk about toxic mothers, about the fact that they are raising children in the wrong way. Then about mothers who are overprotective, because of which, again, the "poor" children suffer. Now people began to discuss ungrateful children, whom their parents gave their best, and now they devote so little time to them.
Luda has just such a situation. Many times the mother asked her: why her care didn’t pay off, what she did wrong, that now the adult daughter treats her so disdainfully, and rarely comes to visit her? Now all the friends of Lyudmila's mother are also shrugging their shoulders, not understanding why such a loving mother had an ungrateful and too selfish daughter! But is it really so? Maybe this is a myth created by old people out of boredom?
Luda is certainly grateful to her mom for a lot. For incredible care, affection, for the sleepless nights that she spent near her bed during her illness. She is grateful to her for her friendship, for support, for guidance, in those moments when something did not work out for Lyuda. She is grateful that she could always share her secrets with her mother, and so gave her valuable advice, tried to understand her daughter, was on her side. She is grateful to her mother for a lot ...
Luda, of course, would like to repay her mother in full for everything that she gave them with her brother. Yes, she herself did it until she had her own family. It happened three years ago. Luda met her future husband, of course, introduced him to her mother, who, as always, accepted and approved the choice of her daughter. Then the wedding, Alinka was born, and Luda began to devote more time to her daughter and work, which she had recently withdrawn from maternity leave.
Unfortunately, now there is very little time left for the mother, there is no time to even come to visit for the weekend. But Luda still tries to visit her for a short time a couple of times a month, invites her to visit, often calls. But my mother is still offended, she is sure that her daughter has exchanged her for new members of her family. She says that she devoted her whole life to her children, and now she lives alone in an empty apartment that no one needs at all.
And Luda so would like to have more time to just chat with her mother, even if about nothing. But she physically fails to do this. She tries to convey this to her mother, but she shrugs it off, takes offense again, and calls her daughter callous and ungrateful. The woman no longer knows what to do. It is somehow wrong to take the mother to her room in one room, the question was raised of moving the whole family with her, but the mother says that she needs more silence, but with a small child this is impossible. In her opinion, Luda probably needs to leave her child and husband and return to her forever?
Luda even thought to introduce her mother to some man. And what, a friend's mother, in her 60s, got married and left with her husband on their honeymoon! But the problem is that her mother has conservative views, she will not connect her fate with anyone, she will not sit on dating sites, and she speaks unflattering about all the men she knows.
What do you say, dear readers? What advice can you give a heroine? Is she really an ungrateful daughter or is her mother a real selfish person? How to find a middle ground to make everyone feel good? I would be glad to hear your opinion in the comments!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/neblagodarnaya-doch-ili-egoistichnaya-mama.html
