I, probably, like many women, have a sin. I love to complain about my husband. I do this not in front of my family and friends, but on the Internet. And what? It’s very convenient. And you don't save everything in yourself, and you don't immerse your loved ones in your problems. This is how I manage to maintain my sanity and understand the reasons why I am still married to him. No, not only because I want my children to have a full-fledged family, not only because I need financial stability. But because my husband is not so bad!
A person cannot be exceptionally good or completely bad. Each has both negative and positive qualities. We shouldn't strive for super perfection. Because all the same, people will see in us what they want to see. I talked with a psychologist, and he gave me valuable advice. When I'm angry with my husband, I need to shift the focus a little from him to myself. Yes, I cannot influence him, but I can influence myself.
And then it dawned on me that my husband's shortcomings could be a reflection of my shortcomings!
It doesn't matter how bad my husband is. If I consider him bad, he will be bad, and vice versa. And, if, for example, I am a bitch, but he does not consider me such, then I am not even one for him. If you focus on yourself, you can gradually get better.
Now, if I am cheerful, rested, happy, then I absolutely do not care that my husband is a “goat”. I will always find excuses for him that he is not so bad. A woman will nag her husband much less if most of her needs are met. She just won't waste herself on negativity.
Of course, if a man is emotionally or physically abusive, if he poses a threat to a woman, a threat to children, then, naturally, he is not worthy to be justified.
I always use one recipe to keep my family good. An unpleasant situation has occurred - you need to find 5 good ones for it. I may not be able to do that, but good is definitely better. And I still think my husband is not so bad!
And you know, after all, I married a good man, then if he suddenly became bad, some factors led to this. And in many cases it is the woman who is to blame for this. Of course, if the man is not a scoundrel.
First of all, I think about my needs, and now I know for sure that I myself am responsible for my happiness. I take what I need, if it doesn't work out, I ask for help. I realized that men do not know how to read minds, and now I tell my husband about everything directly. It seems to me that this is a new stage of growing up, and some kind of wisdom or something. As soon as I changed, my expectations for my husband became more realistic, and that's it, I began to be less disappointed in my wife.
And now I know that my husband is not that bad. I stopped looking for flaws in him, instead I look for something in myself that I can change. It's just mine, and I can control it. And life has become easier! Someone will say that you cannot bend and adapt to a man, but I think all this is not an adjustment! Just before you try to change the world around you, you need to start changing yourself. You will become a better person, and the world will become a better place, and your significant other will also become better!
This is why many women are in no rush to get divorced. Divorce is easy, but working on a relationship is a difficult, sometimes tedious, painstaking thing. To improve your relationship with a man, you must first look at yourself. Try it, stop looking at the world through negativity glasses, then you will understand that people are not so bad!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-nekotorye-zhenshhiny-ne-speshat-razvoditsya-dazhe-esli-v-otnosheniyah-est-trudnosti.html
